anorexia completely ruined my life - vent

TW: ANOREXIA.
hi, my names nyx, (not my irl name as you could lrobably figure out before) and i struggle with anorexia. it literally ruined my life, and here is my story becajse i want for everyone to knlw what a hellhole ana truly is. sooo, this all began in about september 2018, when i went to like, 2nd grade i think?? there was a new girl in my class, lets call her emma (not her real name of course, but very similar). emma was like super super skinny. and then i was a 8 year who was like 30 kg off the weight i shouldve been. (overweight) and so, emma made friends with another girl in my class, who was also my friend. lets call her linn. so, linn became friend with emma. linn was also rlly skinny, but i didnt mind it. BUT, then, one day, linn started to be mean to me. like, unironically. we used to call ourselves smellies and stuff, because yk it was just for fun, but that time it wasnt. soon emma joined her, and it slowly started turning into bullying. when i asked them why are they doing this, they said something like "youre fat and ugly", i dont remember but it was something like that. and soon linn basically dumped me and hanged out with emma and stuff. and it all started here. so i stopped eating, atleast not as much as i used to, and well, soon i started losing a lot of weight. my parents took me to a doctor or something. aand, guess what, i had anorexia. there were probably some other reasons why i got it, but emma and linn were the main reason. so, years went by, and it got worse. by the time i was 12 (2020) i was around 29 kg. (its been going on for 4 yrs at that time) and i was starting 6th grade. i met new friends (this time ill call them their real names), juni and annika. i finally had someone. i started to slowly regain weight and go back into a healthy weight again. finally, in december 2020 i had been in a healthy weight. i had been for 2 years, until 2022. 27th february 2022, my sisters got in a car accident..one of them had died during the accident, and the other one in the hospital. of course, guess what. a drunk guy crashed into them. hes in prison if i remember correctly, hes gonna be there for the next 5 years or maybe even a little bit more. and yeah, that send me into a relapse. i lost a lot of weight, like a LOT. and all of my anorexia symptoms also came back. bam, i was dangerously underweight again. my sisters were two of the four people i felt ever cared about me in my life, and now they were gone, all because of some guy who couldnt stop himself from drunk driving. (rest in peace, freja and britta.). and also, since last year, i feel like juni and annika r leaving me out. they barely hangout w/ me anymore... and honestly, the only comfort i can find rn is in the edtwt/edblr community. i literally dont know what to do.