unemployed and complaining about it

feeling a bit worried about where ill end up in the next few months. i quit my job a few weeks ago thinking id have a new one lined up, or at least an interview before my 2 weeks was up. unfortunately i didnt know there was a hiring freeze for the holiday season. been trying and trying with no luck. i think some of my naivety has shown through because ive always thought as long as i make sure to follow up on my applications and make all the necessary calls that id get that kind of respect in return from potential employers. of course im seeing now that thats not the case. these corporations really want you to grovel for a chance to give them yr time and yr labor. 

i worry because this isnt the first time ive been unemployed for an extended period of time. a little before covid kicked off, i had finished going to school to be an esthetician and had to go through the whole long process of getting my tests taken so i could be licensed. again i thought the process would be much quicker than it was and ended up not having a job for about 6 months. at this time id drifted from a lot of my high school friends or the ones i hadnt lost touch with were states or countries away. anyway all of thats to say i was alone, very fucking alone for that period of time. my mental health was truly at its lowest. ended up working at walmart after that.. ok maybe that was my lowest mental health point.

anyway i guess im just having flashbacks to that period of time. those lonely 6 months followed by a full time job working by myself in the backroom from 4am until the early afternoon, high from the minute i woke up to the minute i went to bed. at least this time im not just sitting in my room unemployed and stoned. and this time i have friends.

well if u see me at the plasma donation center... mind yr fuckin business !!

xx