hai o.O/

im trying to find cool cursors but none of them are want i want D: i found some cool transformice once that i've used for a few cursor animations, but i cant find a good main one :/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sW1OkXczKb4&list=PLXsLN8O7h8nnUpr62niaRITjtruPJGnB5&index=13&pp=iAQB8AUB

wut im listening to rn. sitting in my boyfriends bed in our townhouse. life sucks, im 19 and cant drive, i cant get a job without a car, running out of savings. i spend all day here alone, waiting for my boyfriend to come home. most days he either comes home or sleeps or plays games with his friends, which is okay. he works hard he deserves time to himself, and its not like he just straight up ignores me, its just lonely.

i love the game transformice, i used to play it a lot as a kid and i started playing again a lot a few months ago and i cant stop. i have a really good online friend, ashlynn. i love her, we do a lot of stuff together. im reading homestuck rn cuz shes been asking me to for forever and im just now getting to it >.< (sorry ash) i really appreciate having ashlynn. i think i'd be in a much darker place if i didnt have ashlynn to hang out with.

i dont really have friends right now. besides my boyfriend and our roommate, i dont talk to many people often. i have an irl friend i see occasionally and another friend who isnt really my friend rn but we're slowly becoming friends again? but no friends like i had in high school. and i miss them a lot

im going back to school again in the spring.

i think. if i get in. im not sure if its even what i want but i dont know what else im supposed to be doing. i've been sitting in a house alone for months. before i moved in with my boyfriend, i was staying with my dad in malaysia. i had a job for the second half, but i really was just sitting alone in a house on a computer for 3 months, just to come here and do the same thing.

im doing what i was doing in quarantine. but its different now because im the only one whos doing it. its a lot more lonely to sit and do nothing when everyone else is doing stuff with their life. i feel so stuck because there isnt anything i can do about it right now. my situation has made it impossible. living in europe meant i couldnt learn to drive, i couldnt learn to drive when i went to college because i didnt have any family in the area, no friends, no car. and then i went to malaysia and there is no chance i could learn to drive there, and then i come here. i've learned to drive but i cant get a car in this state because my dad wants the car on his insurance so i have to wait for another two months. i wanted to have a job by now, so i could get some more savings before starting school again. im stuck doing nothing. i cant leave this house by myself. i cant do anything.

but at least my boyfriend comes home and we sleep next to each other. lol :/

im depressed.

im trying to get better tho, its just really difficult.

trying to heal my relationship with my mom, hard though because we are in different states. maybe i'll see her for christmas, not sure though.

i love owl city :3 owl city nightcore.

thats all for now :]

/ᐠ - ˕ -マ bai:p