Hot Take: Shrek Sucks

Some of you are gonna get heated over this, but Shrek sucks. Shrek is an awful movie and I have never enjoyed the movie series, I think it gets worse with every sequel. It's one of those movie series you just watch to laugh at because you hate it so much.

The voice acting seems fake, to be honest, or they are overreacting. The animation is really gross and chunky and I don't relate to the characters at all, so it's hard to sit for a whole hour and a half just to watch this Scottish ogre talk to a donkey who speaks to find their way through their life. I'm not waiting for the next scene, I don't cheer on the characters, and I do not enjoy it at all. It's nostalgic and I think that's the one part I enjoy. The music is very good for a movie, the kind that my dad plays. I just think it's so focused on being curated for both young and adult audiences that they forgot the plot and... like... actual anatomy. It makes me mad. I think Lord Farquad was pretty good for a character design, but the character himself sucks. I know he's like supposed to suck, but he sucks at sucking.

The scene where Donkey and Shrek are crossing a bridge is uneventful and just more chatter. The dialogue overlaps the scenario of them actually dying. I wish instead of just a comedy movie, they leaned a bit more into the romance. Shrek and Fiona meet up too suddenly and at random. There is no romantic tension, and leads the audience into just forgetting they should be rooting for the relationship to happen.

I think I laughed a few times the first go-round while watching it, then my parents put on Shrek 2 and I got confused. I thought the story would be over because there wasn't much more to want from these characters. They were boring and dull, the romances felt better off separately, the humor was dry but also trying too hard, and no one actually started off with true goals. Sure, Shrek wants to be alone in the swamp, and he is until Donkey comes along. This leads to the fairytale creatures entering his swamp, he yells at them, they think he's helping, and then yada yada. This isn't like an actual goal I would enjoy watching someone go through. Like if my best friend said "My goal is to be alone in a swamp," I would laugh once and then be unsure what to do next.

Fiona is also so stubborn and stuck-up at the beginning of meeting her, it is so annoying. 

"You're supposed to sweep me off my feet!"

"You didn't slay the dragon?!"

"This isn't how it's supposed to go!"

I think she has only the goal of being seen sexually or romantically, rather than as an actual person, which is really weird. It sort of makes me uncomfortable because of how desperate she wants him to kiss him or like... come into bed with him.

Yeah... a little weird, right?

Also, the entire plot is supposed to be surrounding the acceptance of one another, which is COMPLETELY forgotten within the movie. I don't think anyone picks that up while seeing this movie. They all just judge Shrek incredibly. Fiona yells at Shrek to remove his helmet. She finds out he's an ogre, she's shocked, and later on she's an ogre! Yet... she still judges him when she finds out he's an ogre... huh? I really hate how much they BOTH hide from each other, even after finding out they are BOTH ogres, it shows no development.

Let me know if you want more of my opinion, or if this is understandable.