There's Something Wrong With My Heart

...But like, literally. My doctor referred me to a cardiologist that I still haven't scheduled with because I

1. don't have time and

2. don't wanna.

I did, however, start my grad school applications today, which I'm very proud of myself for. And I finally had my psychiatrist appointment where I moved from a stimulant ADHD medication to a non-stimulant ADHD medication, half because my physician told me to for the heart stuff, and half because I can't find my stimulant medication anywhere anyway. I've been off of it for a month because no pharmacy near me has it. Something is better than nothing.

I've been in a pretty good mood in general, too- not that I've felt happy every moment, but even when I feel negative emotions, I am able to manage that and come out of it feeling in control, which I'm realizing I didn't feel before.

Rn I'm watching this D'Angelo Wallace video and damn, Devon Rodriguez seems to legit not be able to handle small amounts of criticism. Guess he dropped out of art school before the art criticism classes... though also Ben Davis has a point that Devon was, before this, pretty much only analyzed as a "viral sensation," a "feel-good" story, rather than as an artist. The second he's treated as an artist, he freaks out and sends his followers to attack this art critic who was literally just DOING HIS JOB. He was tasked with going to an art show, went, wrote some stuff about the art and the virality behind it, and expected everyone to just. BE NORMAL. I don't know why but it still continues to surprise me sometimes just how poorly people react to criticism. You can be famous and still just... melt down at something that is just so easy for you to ignore. Just, wow!

I would usually post something like this as a bulletin, but I ended up writing a bit more than usual, and haven't posted a blog in a while. Let me know what y'all think, which format's better?

xo,

chasey.