i feel that i'll feel more disconnected with this new move, new attitudes and demands that come with it ( • ᴖ • ｡)

i hope that my father doesn't try his man way on me too hard, that he'll try to understand that since i didn't grow up with a figure, i am a genuinely lost person! (๑•́ -•̀). Just pushing through it or brute forcing through life is such an exhausting way to get through trauma and your emotions, worse for spirit too...] ( •̯́ ^ •̯̀) 

I pray for my fellow peeps that had no guidance in their adolescent years like me, and had to learn lessons the hard way. instead of having someone there for you to lean on for support to answer your questions, to know wrong and right. I'm with you, fellow loners!! ( ͡ಥ‿ ಥ)━☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ

I guess i'm excited for a new area, my hometown SUXS!!! (•ˋ _ ˊ•) I fear more of i, myself, will HAVE to learn to improve myself for the better! Not that I don't want to improve my mindset and conquer my inner wounds to heal as a new person! Sometimes, don't you feel unlovable?

That your cup has been cracked several times, that glass will cut your lips, regardless of how gentle you sip out of. ｡°(°.◜ᯅ◝°)°｡ ｡°(°.◜ᯅ◝°)°｡ i try not to put myself down, that i deserve normal things too!! 

MY TRAUMA IS NOT ME, IT DOES NOT CONTROL ME (♡ˊ͈ ꒳ ˋ͈)

       

Shoutout to my recovering people pleasers! Why is it so hard to think that we don't deserve everything we were denied?? 凸( •̀_•́ )凸 people who took advantage of us were the real villains, we were young and victims!! 凸( •̀_•́ )凸凸( •̀_•́ )凸

you did what was best in your situation, regardless of how it turned out, if you're alive and safe to read this, we made it out ♡´･ᴗ･`♡

(๑•́ -•̀) damn.... life man.....

(·•᷄‎ࡇ•᷅ ) When i move, i'll be getting a job with 13-14 hr shifts, maybe 6-5 days straight. haven't put in that much time before but i'm ready for what's to come!! [at least try ( ;´ - `;)]

Honestly think i might cry infront of my dad when we finally ride off to my new home, just all that time back at home was....terrible. I've been in survival mode since 15, recently turned 20 on Halloween! ᕙ(  •̀ ᗜ •́  )ᕗ

I feel that as soon as I hit that road, i will know that this is my coming of age. Leaving behind a city that had tainted my kindness and left doubt in my soul, I will be made anew in a new path in light and goodness. Not everyone deserves it, but I will not stretch myself everywhere. 

WE LEARN BOUNDARIES PEOPLE!!! ᕙ( •̀ ᗜ •́ )ᕗ

I look around my room, these four walls have heard many cries and lies told inside. People have come and gone, in and out of my life, promising a life that would include the best parts of us. Yet i sit the only one in here, alone again! [naturally] ᕙ( •̀ ᗜ •́ )ᕗ

I really really really REALLY hope I don't forget a thing!! I look at the time and it's 7am!! i havent slept since yesterday!! oh jesus! ( •̯́ ^ •̯̀)

Thanks for taking the time to skim/read/browse through here, if you find anything relatable, do leave a comment! I'd like to know that i am not alone, and you are never alone in this world!

 There will be people who will care, cherish and love you!