11.5.23 ＼(- – )

I'm putting too much on myself, but I'm afraid of what will happen if I stop. I don't know what is better or worse. At times I feel it's helping to lighten the heart, even if in just the moment. But when reality catches up to me it suddenly becomes so scary. I've been neglecting myself with my forgetfulness and fatigue lately in exchange. In truth its just distraction from lack of inconclusive solution and help that was desperately needed. I'm starting to feel what I'm doing to myself, I don't want to, I'm trying to hold out a little longer. It all makes me sad 

An entire year that felt was meant to be an important sentimental age was spent sick and alone, and there's no answer to when or if things will get better. 

When I look in the mirror I realize I may not be getting myself back

Damage has been made in every which way, I want to apologize to everyone.

I've been able to make a few people smile and laugh recently