4.11.23 (‡▼益▼)

heya kittykatz! i'm super pissed about a certain situation so i'll try and get my general self update out of the way before i get into that. (‡▼益▼) i've been super into the game "class of '09" - and pretty emotionally up + down. i've planned for my next counselor's meeting to tell her that i think i should be out of education / in hospital due to my condition. i have pretty important exams starting from like two weeks away, though. so that's kinda scary. {{ (>_<) }} lastly, i'm getting my first weed cart in hopefully two weeks - so that's exciting! i want a few other self care items for after exams 2 (◕‿◕)

background info:

- i'll name my ex boyfriend "A". i got with A last summer (i was feeling extremely lonely and my mental health was almost rock bottom), we were friends walking home together until he made out with me on a bench NON-CONSENSUALLY BTW!!!?

- A was a horrible boyfriend: he knew i had bpd and was totally neglectful, tried to slit his wrists while we were dating, tried to fuck TWO WEEKS IN (like dude???), political centrist, bitchy all white friendship group that he'd prioritise over me, seemed EMBARRASSED of me, didn't talk to me unless he wanted something, lied to me, left me on read frequently, and never did anything for me. there's more too.

- he had a best friend called jas (yes she's getting named and shamed) - she's fat and ugly so i never saw her as a threat + he and his other friends would always talk about how shitty of a person she was.

so for the situation! :3

i decided i was going to make him feel the way he always made me when i was with my friend debz and try and get back at him, when she showed me a picture of him kissing jas' cheek? again, i thought nothing of it since they were supposed to be best friends and he's a bit of an alcoholic and a twink. so, i messaged him.

"thanks :)" - me

"how's life been?" - me

"he's busy at the moment" - probably jas

"who's he?" - me

"sorry lain :)" - probably jas

"bye bye" - probably jas

so i freak out and say who the fuck is that??? but he leaves me on read so i ended up blocking him today for good. like, removing his number from my phone and deleting our conversations and everything. it's cool cause he won't get anywhere in life anyway - it's not like i regret it.

now i'm mad about obese shrek looking fuck jas thinking she has the authority to talk to me like that. keep in mind, i had another argument lately and lost a load of friends. maybe she thought i was vulnerable? she adds me on snapchat and asks if i blocked her over instagram, and i ask who she is and say "i don't remember" in the bitchiest way possible, before taking a screenshot to send to my bsf. i was so angry yesterday that i was completely ready to start a fight. i'll find a way to get back at her.

i'm never dating a man again.

anywayz, drop some questions  here  ! i need to do a q&a :3