Dark thoughts

It’s passed now but on october 16 @ around 5am, i wuz startled awake in a freezing sweat. da thoughts had grew so fkn loud. tellin me 2 do sum 2 myself i didn’t wan 2 do. tellin me dat wuz my only way out. i didn’t wan 2 die. i couldn’t. no not yet. there’s 2 many ppl i wuz out here 2 help. 2 many ppl countin on me. it’s a purpose i gave 2 myself cuz if not. den i wud do it 2 myself. there’s been 2 much misery 4 a normal person 2 bare. but i’m not normal. sumwhere in between a god and a monster.