feelings with current mainstream social media

okay so i'm kinda spitballing here, stumbled upon this site from tumblr and i'm so glad i did.

mainstream social media is so... boring. so superficial. so perfected and flawless. i barely spend any time on there anymore unless i'm learning about political stuff, or interested in some kpop things. i hate how much everything is an ad and how much things intentionally shorten your brain span. how much the corporations enjoy seeing every detail about you and jottingit down to increase their profits. how they intentionally put stuff on your feed to make you upset, angry, confused, or make you desire to purchase something. it's gross.

one thing i will say is the joy i gain on here by being anonymous. i built a platform based off of my pictures, and now it kinda feels a bit inescapable. not only that, but i despise the idea of people being super intrigued and into you and keeping up with you just because you're pretty. to each their own, of course. but it made me feel hollow. like, i was some doll or trophy that people loved staring at, sexualizing, fetishizing, and not much more. i became mutuals with people who had lots of followers and i thought we would build genuine connections, but nope. only followed me just because my looks garnered attention.

anyway, i really want to use this site more and not post my face or anything so that way people treat me as human first and foremost. but i also would love to show you guys cute photos of things that i take throughout my day or just happy things... the dilemmas of being perceived when you can't control how people perceive you. sigh. maybe posting selfies n stuff is different on here since it feels a bit less like other forms of social media? idk, we'll see. but it's nice to see everyone here :)