The platform

There is no rational choice to create a  painless future, maybe I should just stop me from reaching the future at all.

I stand on my feet solemnly, looking down at my shoes with vague disinterest.

I observe, I stand on a platform of wooden.

I have never been real, I have a constant fog in my mind who keeps me still.

I passed my entire life with my head down, walking towards my destinations with not tripping as my only concern.

Sometimes I give a cordial greeting next to me to my fellows passing, too quick to be turned to conversations.

I never conversate much, because there is nothing I have to talk about outside of my respectful usual greet, and if I did talk longer than usual the average topic is the shoes of my talk-buddy.

Today, for some pleasing randomness who rarely touches my daily life, I happen to have some very nice shoes.

Yet, right now I can’t stand to think about it and realize properly how wonderful my shoes are, as I do not really have any other to compare.

I stand alone, weirdly.

The tram isn’t coming, since I do not have clocks on my shoelaces I prefer to declare to myself that it’s only a bit late.

Yet something is pinching my brain, with the strength of a slap right to my face.

<If I looked up, and I give a quick look around so I discover why is the tram not arriving?>

My complete loneliness also worries me deeply, as usually I can feel around me the impatient gibberish and walking of fellows all around.

I started listening more carefully, looking for any sign of humans and instead hearing the faithful sound of a clock’s ticking.

In the past I have been gifted a wristwatch, an object with an excellent function who gave me -without even having to look up- the chance to keep constant track of time.

An unfortunate event thou was the one taking this privilege away from me.

After I did a pretty huge trip, in the rare moments of lack of attention which always deeply embarrass me, I noticed the impact broke it.

I kept on living my usual routine, days passed, months, years and I gave up trying to find time to repair it and I simply gave up keeping track of time.

But now that I am standing in the emptiness? This questions never got to me before and I feel a horrible worry fill my spirit and make my breath heavier.

Despite how much I narrow my sight, in my peripheral view only my shoes could be seen.

Automatically my sense sharpen, it felt like magic if it does exist.

My skin shakes a bit, in the morning cold no human heat could be felt, i can perceive my skin widening it’s horizons.

And yet, I am not ready.

My ears open up, I perceive noise but something is wrong: Instead of hearing my craved clock I can hear something different.

Something deep and bodily, beating inside of me.

This aren’t my ears hearing it, but my entire soft body now turning rigid.

A sweet sound, and yet so powerful, coming right from my chest.

Every single beat is like a little explosion of light.

I am stiff, I can feel myself tear despite not knowing the reason why.

How did I ignore this sound for so long in my life? The sound of life itself?

My look is still on the shoes but that sound, it was soothing, a brand new emotion.

And my eyes start to raise, without me even noticing.

Up, where I never looked in, there is a pale sky of a blue my shoes were never colored of.

I close my eyelids a bit, the fresh air is making me tear.

And I look down, only slightly, and the clock who felt so unreachable was now right into my view.

But it was completely unreadable.

So much time passed since I looked at one, that I become illiterate in clock’s reading.

My mind is now like the sky.

And with this new view, I look at the clock lost since now I am a lost man.

Under this astral roof, I realize that I have never once lived outside of my track.

And yet, now that tripping didn’t feel scary anymore, I can’t ignore that the consequences will be terrible.

I do not have a track anymore, where do I step now? What is me now?

I trip, but the earth doesn’t, the sky doesn’t, the time doesn’t but what about my life?

And a noise can be heard in my craziness: the tram.

And I am afraid because I haven’t feel since so long, no choice can save me now, rationality left me.

And my eyes look down, my body goes far and breaks but my spirit raises.

I am not standing on the podium anymore, I will never again, I wish I could go and take a walk.

Today was a beautiful day.