autism and hygiene

being undiagnosed for most of your life and struggling hygiene has to be one of the most stressful parts of being autistic.

a lot of neurotypical people (and might i dare say, black women) take hygiene as some type of competition. “you don’t shower every day?” “you don’t shower in the morning?” “gross, you only shower once a day…”

showering sometimes put at risk of having a sensory overload, brushing my teeth is hard because i brush too hard, for a short amount of time, with toothpaste that i hated. now i can’t brush my teeth at all because my teeth are too sensitive and the dentist is a scary place for me.

i’m completely able bodied and have an invisible disability which i can mask so everyone around me expects me to be able to keep with a standard that in my opinion does more harm sometimes than good.

when i shower, i don’t get all the dirt off which can be very overwhelming for me especially considering that bathroom in a whole are sensory nightmares. i have to use a exfoliating glove which have to be disposed after a month or so. after that, i have only a rag to use until my mother finally agrees to bring me shopping.

washing my hair is and has always been a challenge for me and my mother (reason i locked my hair). i would have meltdowns over washing my hair and frequently ran away to hide. the pain was unbearable but i soon just started to believe that everyone didn’t like their hair done. 

when i brought up how much i disliked my hair being done, people would make fun of me and call me nasty.

being able to keep up good hygiene is not something that should be taken for granted. being able to do these things without struggle is something i wish i could achieve every day of my life.