Vent art/fanart inspired by the song Sympathy by LuLuYam

MASSIVE TW imagery of cartoonish gore and explicit discussion of pedophilia and grooming.

This song is actually so healing and inspiring! It's all I've been thinking about these past few days and it came out at a really convenient time because my birthday is usually a big reminder of what I've been through so it's hard for me emotionally. Here's the drawings I made!

(That is actual words from the start of the song but I switched the name to the name of my groomer instead)

(I tried colored pencil again for this one I don't really like it but here it is)

(probably my favorite lyric also my favorite of the 3 drawings)

And these are some character references, all from the music video!

I've struggled a lot with my own guilt and shame regarding how I "should" and "shouldn't" feel about what's happened to me. I was far too conditioned by nearly everyone that I should blame myself for everything and I didn't even realize that I've spent this whole time holding back my feelings towards him and instead taking the blame for him. I wouldn't let myself be rightfully mad at him because I thought I was meant to be mad at myself. Then I would actually get mad at myself for not being upset with him because I really wanted to be. A lot of people don't understand how moderation works and they convince you that holding anger in your heart is inherently the opposite of healing and they shame you for being angry. Holding on to that anger to the point you can't see anything else is obviously not healthy, but not allowing myself to hold any anger has actively set back my healing. And my anger is completely reasonable. He's a pedophile, a manipulator, a gaslighter, an abuser, low-key a trans fetishizer, he's caused me an endless amount of unnecessary pain and suffering, and he doesn't feel guilty or think that he's done wrong. He's probably moved on to another victim knowing I can't do anything about it. The thought of it disgusts me. He belongs in jail but I personally hope he ends up fucking dead. I hate him. I want him to understand what he's done to me. I want him to suffer how I suffer. It's the least he deserves and it's all he deserves. I don't feel ashamed of feeling this way anymore. It was never my fault, even though I made mistakes and bad decisions, that someone his age was attracted to and preyed on literal children.