11/02/2023 : Life Ramble

Thing's have been okay, I mean I've been sick for the past 5 months that affects what I can eat or drink (basically stuck on a very strict keto diet) and now it is finally seeming to settle down so I can actually eat more. I was able to  eat pizza with a friend on halloween for the first time in so long and holy shit it was so good, and I was able to eat like two pieces of candy corn as a treat to celebrate. The friend I spent halloween together moved into their apartment that's only a 30 minutes drive so I'm excited to be able to hang out with them and have an actual excuse to really go out and do shit besides just for necessities.

My computer also ended up getting fucked, the hard drives got corrupted and only a portion of a few of the drives were recoverable but thankfully it wasn't anything I was too concerned about. Managed to recover all my art files and the files for my website so thank god. It does just have a 1 TB drive in there and I plan on getting another drive in there when I can. Haven't done any computer shit in years so I've forgotten almost everything and I have to teach myself the basic of pc building and the best selection of parts for it.

Aside from all of this I'm still trying to navigate how to do normal people shit, It's been weird having to learn how to live for the first time so it's been sort of nice but mainly really fucking tough. I still don't really feel like I have a purpose in life but I don't really give that much of a shit at the moment because most of my days are filled with me fighting off the demon lmao. But having a website and making art keeps me busy enough as a replacement for "something im supposed to be doing". Being on tumblr has been really nice though on the topic of art, It's gotten really popular on there so it's really fucking overwhelming but everyone's been really kind to me, aside from some weird asks. I've been kinda in hiding though since it's gotten a bit too overwhelming and a couple personal issues has me on a separate account to hide out in while I figure out how to navigate this shit.

Been staying with some really nice people too actually, I've been helping them with chores and simple tech shit and I end up getting paid real well for just really easy tasks. They've also been helping me out with basic life things and been the main people to really help teach me how to live and been kind of the first people to show me genuine care for the first time in my life. So that's been pretty great.

But yeah a mix of lots of big things happening but mostly have nothing going on. Just been hanging out, getting high, trying to heal and working so not too bad aside from just some of the usual shit kicking my ass but mainly okay.

oh and I ended up finding the perfect replica of MY coat on amazon for like $70 and I've been treating myselkf to more madness posters and merch like the sanford and deimos plushes (which should be arriving VERY soon) so i've been fucking estatic over that.