Happy fucking halloween. Another fucking pointless holiday gone by.

It doesn't matter how much stuff i get, how many things i go to, how much fun i have, how long it lasts, how good i feel

The meds don't do shit either. I want to take more, but my mom doesn't want me to take more than i'm prescribed. I'm trying to see if i can take stuff for my depression (I'm currently only taking anxiety meds) but so far it's just kind of meh.

People always fucking leave me. Without warning. Super suddenly they just leave. And the second I find a new group of people? They pack up and leave. I don't know why i even try.

And i'm so fucking tired. I'm tired of being looked at. I just know they talk about me. The people I used to know. The people I don't know. They think I don't listen, but I do. I KNOW WHAT THEY ARE SAYING. THEY TALK LIKE I DON'T EXIST, BUT I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING. They are almost always whispering and giggling like i'm some kind of deaf person. 

It's lowkey driving me insane. I hate them so much and if they don't drop dead i'll do it myself.