life update and some writings

Hello and welcome;
This is my first formal blog so i apologize for any awkwardness, recently I've realized this platform is my most private space, however unlikely that might seem, so it seems the best one to share this,

I been fairly stable lately, managing through grief better than expected but never leaving it. 
I've mentioned in passing my liking for poetry and unlike other times I feel a need to share it, to whoever may see this: thank you for your time. 

no apology worth the pain given, for broken bones take away judgment- rationalize, 

beware lifelong lies, month driven rockery*

do wonder;

as is the black-eyed shape is the leather whip sunken in your hand, if to hit back would be a disservice to your cause- you do it

do wonder;

is it empathy or idiocy that haunts your daywalks?

you've lost your mind for the sake of an orphan,

homeless pigeon sat atop your gut, asking you: isn't it ridiculous to embalm the dead? 

i wonder;

cower you down front of me, quivering sickness- broken cough*

bound restless to the quiet, unceremonious gore, screaming one to four- behind walls 

i picture;

anger and broken teeth, gashed fingers in the sink-

you cannot speak however, is this the end of me? 

elusive relief, insurmountable grief

the gluttony of necessity spills velvet bullet wound

i need you back, i need you here, 

i need you back, i need you here-