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This blog will be dedicated to days where I feel the urge to piss on my neighbor's welcome mats, drink puddle water, and eat dirt.
Entry 1: September 11th, 2023
》Feeling like shit, I just ate a handful of dirt from my tomato garden. I nearly went for another, and I currently crave more but I will refrain for now. My insides feel gritty, mmm.
》Update: I had another handful, honestly not feeling too bad anymore. Maybe I'm building up an immunity. I like tomato dirt the best because there is the extra crunch of the fertilizer, compared to my wildflower dirt which isn't fertilized.
Entry 2: Oct 31st, 2023
》 It rained last night. There is an intense urge inside of me to drink this delicious looking puddle that is collecting under my drain pipe. There is dirt in it and it smells like moss because I need to clean my drain pipes. However, I think I will be able to refrain this time. My last incident where I got sick after drinking from a puddle is still fairly fresh in my mind. Maybe I will go to the creek and take a sip from there to abate my thirst.
Entry 3: Nov 1st, 2023
》 I guess I'll update yesterday's entry; I did not drink from the puddle. I did go to the creek though, holy shit is that aqua crisp.
One thing people seem to be concerned about is if I'll get the shits (or the so called "beaver fever") when I drink from creeks/rivers/streams. And it's a silly concern. Don't you think after all these years I've built up an immunity? Don't be stupid now. My immune system can handle a lot more than just some average creek water. Thanks for the concern though, xoxo.
Entry 4: Nov 10th, 2023
》That old fuckin bag that lives across from me is pissing me off again. She constantly watches me from behind the safety of her crack in the blinds, ever since I took just *one* piss on her welcome mat. She doesn't realize she's the fuckin problem. To CLARIFY, she didn't even see me do it. But I did threaten to do so earlier and it was also me who pissed on the mat, but whatever. That mat is 5 decades old anyways, torn to shit from all the cats she hoards. Called the cops on me 3 times for the same incident. She probably has developed dementia in the last few years, but she doesn't have any folks around to put her in a goddann retirement home. Jokes on her though, every time she lets her cats out of her place to come tear up my plants I just take one inside and keep it. Lady has so many fuckin cats she doesn't even realize. Or she's too fucked in the head to realize. Anyways, maybe tonight I'll take another trip down piss lane and visit that old mat of hers. Old witch deserves every drop. >:}
Entry 5: January 1st, 2024
》I'd like to begin by apologizing for my previous entry. I was off my meds. It is wrong to piss on anyone's property, even if they are old and racist. I will still take her cats though, and I'm not giving back the three that i already stole (gremlin, ghoulbert, and gargoyle). In other news,, all the dirt is frozen, I haven't had a bite in a long time.
Entry 6: July 4th, 2024
》I'm off my meds again, my gluttony continues. My lust for soil will never be satiated.
Entry 7: Sept 8th, 2024
》It is the birthday of my arch nemesis. Their memory still haunts me everyday, even though it has been years since our "separation" (restraining order), I can't forget them. The only thing that keeps me going is the allure of stagnant puddle water and gritty dirt. Speaking of dirt: that dirt I ate with the yellow fungus on it actually made me quite sick for a few days. At one point I thought it was over for me, my 4 cats would be the only ones who knew I was dead. They would feast on my corpse and not even call my grandpa to let him know I died. I'm fine though, and I'd eat it again. The texture was out of this world.
Comments
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Roxstar
Lol are u serious?
Lol, maybe
what would you think if I was??
by Lint; ; Report
Ngl you wouldn't be the person I knew of that eats dirt but I think you'll probably end up on My Strange Addiction or something
by Roxstar; ; Report
Well I am glad to know there are others like me! And my strange addiction will never know, I live a reclusive lifestyle >:}
Btw you should totally try just a handful sometime, you might be surprised
by Lint; ; Report
Nah I'm good I'm gonna stick to food that's edible
by Roxstar; ; Report
Eh, define edible? :P
I respect your decision though, maybe someday you will be enlightened!
by Lint; ; Report
Edible as in something safe to eat or at least safe enough to keep you alive until you're old and looking like a raisin. But hey who knows maybe I will be enlightened someday although I've already tasted dirt, and I didn't like it so probably not
by Roxstar; ; Report
Ah fair enough, I don't eat dirt exclusively but you're right, it has little nutrients. I guess I nevee thought about making it to be an old raisin hahaha. P.S. try the rich soil that you grow vegetables in! So gritty yum yum uwu
by Lint; ; Report
Okay, Maybe I will
by Roxstar; ; Report
I like you and I like your willingness to comply. Let's be friends :}
by Lint; ; Report
I thought we already were lol
by Roxstar; ; Report
Like fr friends? If we already are then I guess that solves the problem lolol
by Lint; ; Report
I love the genuinity of this blog!!! Makes me feel better knowing other people have struggles too. I don't know if its a good or bad thing if you drank the water,
But anyway, thanks for being real with us!!
by Bri
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Aww Bri, you're so sweet, that means a lot to me!!! I personally think it's a good thing due to the fact that it feels great and I didn't get sick this time :}
I strive to be genuine and have clarity about my struggles, someone who can appreciate that AND me as a whole are a rare find these days.. thx uwu. Keepin it real, fr. *nuzzles*
by Lint; ; Report