poetry pt2!!

rotting

i was born a month early,

well, technically only 24 days

but we always say a months.

my brother was born the same month. 

but we are 3 years and 359 days apart.

my best friend was born in february,

we are a little less than 8 months apart.

but we are basically conjoined,

connected by the same sins.

the sin of love.

the sin of greed.

always wanting.

changing and growing.

but nothing worth loving is easy.

i will poke fun of my “ancient” friend and they will call me a child.

we will sit side by side in whatever awaits us after our bodies decay.

wilting flowers woven into crowns, 

placed silently on our heads.

a gentle reminder,

we are rotting.

why god?

did god create us,

or did we create him?

in this vast, lonely world

we sit in silence.

tears fall from your eyes;

i stare blankly back at you.

“why did he make me this way?”

i can feel my nose start to burn but i wont cry.

you continue to look at me with watery eyes and i awkwardly shift my gaze.

“i wish you were a boy so i could love you and god”

“im sorry”

it comes off my lips jumbled, quick like im scared it will cut me if i hold it too long.

your mother calls for you and you take your sleeve and wipe away the tears,

you spare me one last glance as you ball your fist around the cross that rests against your chest;

right where i wish to rest my head.

did god create you this way?

or did they create him that way?

selfish god

i go to youth group every week,

a futile attempt at faith.

i claw and scratch at my throat begging to praise you.

because why should you garner my praise?

the same unfair and cruel god

thinks i should praise him?

i harbor more anger towards you than i do my father.

the resentment i feel flows hot like molten lava through my veins.

you claim you never throw anything at us we cannot handle,

then why cant we handle it?

why must prayer be hand in hand with despair?

i cannot praise you without losing me.

i cannot be your saint, your angel without one of my wings drenched in the blood of innocents.

uniquely human

baby shoes, carseats in the garage,

suction toothbrushes stuck to the mirror.

muddy footprints muddle our porch,

but thats alright.

when we wake tomorrow the mud will be dry

and you will complain about it.

ill mumble something about how we should have cleaned it.

open doors, loud music playing through them.

“skip this song!!” 

i will yell through the open doors.

“but i like the chorus!”

someone whines back,

late night drives, just me and you.

stores closing and the quiet, chilly wind.

we are so innately human in this way,

with our carseats, and our baby teeth kept safe under our pillows, the back and forth whines, 

the stillness of when life finally rests it weary head.

the unique humanity each of these carry will flow through us all at one point.

you, me, them, and him will all feel the pain stillness of life late at night or the excitement of finally being able to sit in the front seat and the anxiousness of a first day.

we are all human.

so incredibly human.

if u liked these comment ur fav and check out my other poetry blog!!