Why do I have to feel like this?

I want to say I have a traumatic past. But anytime I want to talk about it all I can think about how it was my fault and that other people have it worse. 

Why do I constantly feel the need to downgrade my own past and experience? 

I know that in a sense it was my fault. But also not cause I WAS A CHILD and so what it was a digital experience?? That doesn't make it not real and horrible. But I still can't feel comfortable calling myself a victim cause.. Well it didn't happen In the real world so that must mean It wasn't bad right? 

I mean that's what I tell myself but I know that's not true. If it happened to someone else I would recognize that and tell them It wasn't their fault and how that was horrible. But I can't do it for myself...

because its me...

WHY?