I'm a horrible girlfriend

[This is a repost of a bulletin because no one responds to my bulletins anymore]

I'm at this party being held by my friend Blake's family, Alex is his best friend and my brother was also invited so that's why I'm here

Me, Blake and Alex were outside with some other cousins playing basketball (although I wasn't actually playing I was keeping score) and some joke was made about Blake being stuck in the "stepbro help me" context so I did the sane logical non fucked up thing of smacking the fuck out of my boyfriend because

I barely even know why, jealousy?

But my dumbass hit his eardrum or something and now he can't hear out of one of his ears and we called his mom and she was way too nice to me about it and then alex started apologizing for me because I was crying because I feel terrible about it and that made me feel worse and just 

Why did I do that? Why can't I just say what I wanna say? Why do I have to be so horrible??