mistreatment

mistreatment

through my life, ive been mistreated by almost everyone,

in kindergarden, i would feel out of place,

i was desperate for love,my parents couldn't give me enough attention,

they were too busy with work

i would have mental breakdowns in class, my teacher would call them and they would tell me that i should stop,that i shouldnt act that way, it was ''inmature'' and i should be strong, not show any emotions for i am a ''boy''

no therapy, no nothing,

just a stern reminder of how much of a disapoint i was and still am, someone who will never fit in correctly.

i bearly had any friends, i had to resort for searching online for them, and surely enough i stumbled onto one.

they already made a friendgroup, i just managed to slither in there, like an ant entering in its colony, and like an ant

i began getting used to everything and everyone, they gave me attention and love, because of this i would do more and more do get attention, whenever i would get leftout i would cry.

but even that one didn't last,

so i intergrated into another one, then thats when everything began crumbling down.

my childhood was stabbed to death, teared apart into little pieces.

they gave me attention, and like a dog did anything for love. eventually one of them convinced me one afternoon to show my flower,the next day my parents found out and my father proceeded to throw my phone against a wall, afterwards i cried and whailed like a pig whilst my mother and grandmother tried barricating the door.

he eventually entered and proceeded to physically and mentally abuse me, he yelled at me so hard his spit got into my shirt.

i didnt even go to therapy afterwards. they think thats weak.

and it continued, even after my father threatened him and his ''friends'' with the police.

each day, each week the same thing, doing god knows what for an ounce of attention from them, just so that i felt loved by someone.

and now here i am

in the present

a broken shell of someone who seemed to have a decently future

im not even a boy but my parents still think i am 

and ive desided to finish it

my whole life has been one big sitcom

and now the ending is happening, goodbye.