Cristhmas and fights.

Hello dear readers, how you doing today? This is my second post, at this time with a property subject. 

My family doesn't like Christmas, not because they are atheist or something, they're a christians like the majority of Brasilians population. They're just a bunch of boring people with a tiny mind, or they just don't have their inner child alive anymore. (The flames of that eager little child still alive and always will be.) 

I like the pretty brilliant light's, The family together, the presents, Even the scent of the air smells different. The end of the year is such a gorgeous thing. Even the people looks more kind, or I'm just browsing in the seas of insanity and loneliness. It's not a surprise that when my father died (I was two years old), my family that doesn't care about me, starting doesn't liking more and more, be it the way I dressed, talked or just breathed. C'mon I was a kid, it is not ethically correct to do this with a kid that just lost his father. No I don't remember nothing about my dad even his face, I was so tiny. Coming back about Christmas, I wanted all that I see on tv and shows, the family, the happiness, the feeling of being loved and being safe. I'm not Christian, much less straight and cisgender. I feel like I'm a grown up child. A big little girl that cries when you scream at her, my family always fights, in my childhood they are always fighting, Growing up in a house with unstable people and agressive ia not the best thing for a kid with severe anxiety and have panick attacks on school. (Which was shit too, a shitty school and house, sounds cool, Right? dear readers.) Well, summing it all up, I wanted a normal family, with a normal holiday, but I think and dreaming to much, but if I don't If I slept awake what would become of me? I would go insane, for sure. Having imagination is good, being a kid with Nineteen years old is fun sometimes. 

Obs: I'm writing this in another language, For when they find out this, they're not will understand. I love speaking two languages. I'm sorry for my grammar, I'm not good writing and maybe I don't know basic things, I learn all this on tv shows and songs!! Do not judge me. (-"-;)