wha

*willy on couch watching scary movie*

Tv: BURY THE BODY!! we can't go bury Brittany she's a friend of ours??

*Willy laughing uncontrollably* Dumb girls... this never gets old.

chilly: *turning on loungeroom light* what the hell?

willy: this movie is a masterpiece, shut up.

chilly: It's 3 in the fucking morning 

willy: 2:57...

chilly: whatever. how many times have you watched this dvd? I think it's scratched.

willy: I've lost count, but I know I've seen it over 20 times. I just can't get enough of it.

chilly: clearly *taking disc out of dvd player* jesus christ dude. *the disc is scratched circular at this point*

willy: oi! *snatches it out of his hand and puts it back in*

chilly: you know you can do whatever you want now that your mum's out.

*universal non-copyright intro plays and then the dvd player explodes*

*willy girly screams* I am doing what I want.

chilly: and she's gonna kill you once she gets back.

willy: *flashbacks of her yelling* that's a problem for future me... DAMMIT thats my 6th bimbo killa disc replacement this month!

chilly: what brand was that dvd player.

willy: actually.. she doesn't care she has like every streaming service now and calls me a nerd for still collecting dvds. 

chilly: what a bitch... you still need one though.

willy: .....shit

chilly: surely there's a built in dvd player in your bedroom tv

willy: yeah...

chilly: good.. I'm going back to bed and you should too once you clean this shit up it's smoky in here. 

willy: what is the point of this sleepover if we sleep!!!

chilly: ohhh yeah.. I'm sorry I'm just pissed off..

willy: you're always pissed off. 

*willy lays in bed with eyes open*

chilly: STOP WATCHING BIMBO KILLER IN YOUR HEAD

willy: I'M NOT!!

chilly staring

willy: on god... I'm not... dead serious.

still lying down

willy: *muttering* hey do you wanna see my tits

chilly: DON'T LOSE YOUR VIRGINITY.. WE'RE IN A SPOOKY CABIN BROH even I can quote it by heart at this point my god.

willy: I am wide awake, still. and so bored I know I need a break from that damn dvd.

chilly: goodo.

*knock at the door*

chilly: who the hell could that be?

willy: better not be those jehovahs witnesses again.

*he looks through the peephole* 

willy: oh its my amazon package! huh. 

*there's a guy in a box sneaking up and stealing it*

chilly: what. uh oh. he opens the door, HEY! YOU ARE NOT SLICK...

*the guy runs away* 

chilly: damn they're fast.

willy: oh GOD NO *he runs after him like the wind and pulls chilly*

*they chase after box guy until they fall into a hole*

willy: whatever you're doing, it is sick! give me back my.... action figure

guy: fine, you win. *he takes box off and he's a 3,5 ugly troll* why the fuck are you awake willly it's 3:am!

willy: cause my mom is in Miami.

guy: shit... okay, you 2 might want some context on what is going on, yeah?

chilly: you're a thief?

guy: I am Mackenzie, I am a 6060 year old troll.

*willy laughs*

*guy sighs*

willy: MACKENZIE.*HE KEEPS GIGGLING*

guy: can you please kill him.

chilly: what? no.

guy: hmmmmmfff... at 3am every morning, I go to your neighbourhood and steal packages from front doors to hand to my master satan. no matter what it is it makes him stronger. and others get poorer and angrier, it's his revenge!

chilly: okay.... revenge for-

willy: WHAT?? IS THAT WHY I NEVER GOT MY JOKER MASK?? OR MY WALKING DEAD COMICS? you asshole.

guy: yeah, he loves those comics.

chilly: revenge for WHAT?

guy: thousands of years ago... well more like, circa 2020, a group of drunk friends thought it would be funny as FUCK to pour oil down this hole to hell, killing everyone protecting it, the devil was furious and wanted ME to do this nightly chore at all of their houses, also TPing the homes and leaving shit on their doorsteps. "how do you even shit that much?" if you're wondering, I ate mexican every night.

willy: damn, even mexican food doesn't make me shit that much

chilly: he's not a mortal man, willy.

guy: thank you goatee guy, I have super sense so to really fill me up I go to any house that smells of mexican food nearby and eat those people too, I'm insane!

chilly: right okay... thank you for that gruesome tale.

guy: nobody has ever caught me doing the door to door devil's hour steal before, so Willy, you shall keep your package. *he hands it to him*

willy: phew...

guy: BUT... 

dramatic music sting

guy: Satan said if this happened, I would have to transport both of you to one of the many alternate universes to make you forget what you saw, because NOBODY should know 

*they instantly get trapped in a jail cell*

guy: NOBODY EVER.

Chilly: HOW???

guy: science FICTION!!!

*mackenzie pulls the lever*

*shows black card covering scene cause 2 graphic*

*chilly and willy are aliens in another world

chilly: ughh, where are we.

random voice: welcome to the gulag.

willy: some foreign country I don't know *chuckle*

chilly: that's not funny.

willy: say that to the people that made Ohio a meme like last year

chilly: ....Ohio is a state dipshit.

willy: oh... why are we here anyways?

chilly: I DON'T KNOW THE LAST THING I REMEMBER IS YOU GETTING YOUR AMAZON PACKAGE? hang on... what are you?

willy: WHAT ARE YOU?

*both looking at hands* AAAAAAAAAHH

willy: well wherever we just teleported to, I hate it already.

*dude walks up to them* 

dude: Hey, you want some change?

chilly: I don't think I need any thanks for the offer though. wait. WHERE'S MY WALLET?

willy: AND WHERE'S MINE?

dude: you aren't getting change, cya. GIVE IT UP FOR THESE FUCKIN BROKIES EVERYONE

chilly: what is this? some 80s high school movie

*both get beaten up by 4 people* 

willy: ....remember when DJ Khaled said life is roblox

chilly: yeah?

willy: that might just be true.

chilly: don't you think that sounded a little bit like Todd Cornfield.

willy: oh shit...

*they get up*

chilly: this might sound fucking crazy, but I think we entered an alternate universe, what the hell did you buy on amazon dude?

*willy peaks through the package and sneaks a peak at his dildo*

willy: happy stuff.. none of your business

chilly: okay... our clothes are gone, our everything is gone but this mall looks like our mall but more corrupted

willy: normally I'd call you stupid but I believe you.