Vent?

Ive been called pretty much neg stuff in my household. Useless, foul, disgusting, makes it feel like i'm a demon. I know they hate me now. My friends haven't been helping(Except for Clover, i love u/platonic). My birthday is 2 months. I don't think I have anyone to say a happy bday to me. I've been becoming suicidal, mood swings, something like those stuff. 

I left my old friends that I have been with for 2 years. They are.. seriously such a red flag. But eh, that's life, right?