13.01

I've been feeling really weird. There's this sensation of something awful happening soon??? Every now and then it comes back, but right now it's like I'm going to throw up and cry at any moment x.x

My brain's dead. I can't think of even read clearly, like mixing words and not being able to connect ideas. The only think I can concentrate is this weird catastrophic feeling.

Also I can't shake off the idea that the things I want to do after graduating won't work out. I wanted to study to be a hair dresser but aaa idk maybe I won't be any good at it and it'll all be worthless??? It's definitely something I like doing! Dying/cutting hair I mean but... I haven't been good at any of the things I've tried before so why would this be the exception. Idk I'm just starting to get discouraged I guess. I wish I could skip the next like 3 months and see what happens ToT

Maybe I should get a tarot reading so it tells me that everything is on my mind (as always) and that way at leat try to get rid of the idea of an incoming catastrophe>< but idk because I'll keep feeling this way lol even if I knew it's on my imagination.

Oh what to do, what to do. I just want this to end