can’t stop fucking exercising 💀 / vent

obvious tw

I wish I could just do something normally I swear exercise is meant to be good for you and here I am fucking addicted to it it’s horrible everything hurts all the time I can barely move but I still somehow force it and like I just don’t know I don’t know anything. Sometimes I throw up from exercising too much and at first I’d stop if that happened but now I just run to the bathroom and throw up then keep going and I have to get at least 20k steps a day but that doesn’t really feel like that much so I get 30k sometimes like today but now that doesn’t feel like that much so I wanna try 35 or 40 but it hurts so bad but I’m not entitled to a lack of pain and this is what I have to do to fix everything and it’s not even that much but it doesn’t even fix anything it just makes more problems but whatever I feel worse when I don’t do it. I still have to workout for an hour tonight and it’s so unfair but I can’t stop and I’ve brought this on myself so who cares if I didn’t eat so fucking much I wouldn’t have to but the fact of the matter is I eat nowhere near enough and even on days I eat nothing I still have to exercise and I hate it I hate it so much.