Emotionless Feeling in Life

I feel numb I don't feel any emotion I feel empty. I don't feel happy or sad..

I got tired of crying and tired of always apologizing for things I didn't do I got tired of specific people and just staring at them like oh I wish when this person was in my life. Or just staring at someone that used to be my bestfriend. Feeling ignored by my favorite people just breaks my heart I can't do it when they don't reply I know they have something important to do but it's just I don't want to feel forgotten. I wish he would just say yes instead of idk like just say yes already I want us to be together forever but that's not going to happen cause the best people leave soon. My family ruining my mental health is the worst feeling ever and then watch them say all this shit about me to my face makes me wanna just scream.