How to be a conversation-ing pro (The gh0st way)

TW: This whole thing is a joke, that I will dedicate my life to. Try to not take this seriously. If you easily get offended or try stupid things don't read this. There is not so family friendly language in this :)

Welcome to Sir.gh0st's conversation-ing lessons. Throughout these lessons you will learn the basics of how to conversate the gh0st way. By the end of this lesson (when I quit Spacehey) you will be a pro conversator, but take this as a warning. You will be held of full responsibility for any loses in friendships, getting blocked, reported, and called a total freak. I hope you will have a fun, exciting, and intellectual journey throughout my lessons!

Lesson 1:

Welcome to my first lesson. We will cover on how to start a conversation, please take notes. 

Start with something random to attract the victim's attention. Make sure it is nice so they won't run away or block you. Never meow, it shows how weak you are. 

An example: 

"quack quack" 

This concludes Sir.gh0st's first lesson. Please come back next month. 

Lesson 2:

Welcome to my second lesson. We will cover on how to message first, please be mindful and take notes. 

Always start a conversation first. Show your opponent you are stronger and more confident. Don't let them beat you. If you did you are an absolute failure /hj. Don't even try to message someone at that point /j. Usually, a normal fellow gh0st would start it by saying "HAHA" and continue bragging about how you messaged first. 

An example:

"HAHA, YOU FUCKING LOSER. I MESSAGED FIRST AND YOU DIDN'T." 

This concludes Sir.gh0st's second lesson. 

Lesson 3:

Welcome to my third class on how to be a conversation pro, the gh0st way. We will be learning on how to respond to "wassup." Please pay careful attention to this class and feel free to take notes!

Now this is a very complicated subject, since I don't even know what that means. I guess you should start by asserting dominance. Stomp your dirty foot onto the ground and properly clear your throat. Tell them "Nothing much" while checking your nails. I won't be giving any examples this lesson, since I definitely know how to reply to wassup. 

This concludes Sir.gh0st's third lesson.