Dream I had on Oct. 12th 2024

Warning: This entry contains descriptions of violence, even if it is in a dream state. This is a dream so it doesn't reflect reality.

It was the end of the semester (I don't know if it's called that, I'm not good at english). I passed the grade with straight As. I felt so relieved. For some reason I was wearing clown makeup and a vintage dress, and I was standing in front of the building of my elementary school. I walked towards our class, which was a dimly lit room with dust everywhere. It was the spare room for the daycare, I remembered the room vividly from several years back where I too was in the daycare. In one of the drawers I found the old fox plushie I used to play with. It all was so nostalgic. 

My thoughts have been cut short by my old classmate telling rumors around me just as she used to back then, and the saddest thing was that everyone believed her. She was surrounded by some people from all the different points of my life. I felt awful.

I gathered all the courage I had and asked her what is going on and she responded with something I can't remember. That thing, whatever it was, it was terrible. Suddenly, I lost all control over my body. Everything felt distant and fuzzy. I could hear her crying over the white noise but I couldn't focus on it. Suddenly, the crying stopped. I regained consciousness. I don't remember what happened but I remembered the terrible smell of iron. And the sight of her dead body, almost unrecognizable. 

I started crying. I never wanted this. Whatever she said, it wasn't worth it. Definitely wasn't worth me(?) committing a murder in front of all those people. 

I couldn't bear it anymore. I ran to my old daycare worker's office, hiding my blood-stained hands in my pocket. She welcomed me like an old friend, letting me to sit on the same chair I did all those years ago.  I told her everything while occasionally sobbing. She calmly listened, and she told me: "It wasn't your fault. You'll be alright." Then she went into the back room, and returned with two glasses of pineapple juice. I took a sip and it felt like a return to my senses. I didn't realize back then, but I was really dehydrated. Me and the daycare worker talked for some time, until it was time to go. I said goodbye and went back home for the final time.