FINAL Soccer Update ToT

It's kind of sad. Yesterday, my soccer team had our last game. It was away, and everyone went, even the JV team, even though it was just a varsity game. I thought maybe that the couch woul dput the JV in anyway, seeing as we were out of playoffs so the game ultimately didn't matter, but she didn't. Granted, we WERE playing our rival team, but it was still sad.  I had hopes for nothing I guess. 

But that's not the game that matters. On Saturday, we had our last home game. It was rainy and cold and disgusting out, but we still had a game. For the last 15-17 minutes of the varsity game, the coach put all of the JV in! It was super fun. I was out there, with my team, for the final time. I got to play with all of my underclassmen one last time, which was bittersweet. My muscles burned and hurt so bad from the cold at first, but once I was out there playing, the rain and cold didn't really bother me. I was having fun out there, one last time. There was supposed to be a JV game after Varsity, but I think it was just so cold and miserable (and 60% of the JV team was out for injury) that the coaches decided not to have a game. I think that's why the JV lineup went in for the final portion of the game, since it wasn't just the occasional varsity players that went in, but the entire JV team. Honestly, it was so much fun. I got to play varsity with my team, and it was amazing. 

I had such an amazing season with everyone, with all of my friends, I couldn't have asked for better people to spend my last soccer season with. It's bittersweet. I have free time now, but I still haven't processed that I'm never going to put my cleats on again, or ride a chaotic bus down backroads with my team. I won't ever sit on the bench and cheer for everyone again. I won't ever step on the field again. Last night was the final time I took off my jersey, as it was never going on again (or...I guess this morning...I slept in it, I was sad I had to take it off...that jersey and I had HISTORY, we got new jerseys last year and the first game that I wore the away jersey, I got tripped and slid face planting on the turf, ripping off some of the number and letters from the front, so I feel like I have a connection to it, part of me is there) None of that will ever happen again. It's over, and I don't know how to process it. But I'm glad it happened. No more freezing Sunday practices, or waking up early in the summer for training. It's over, and it's never been over, and it's weird. I hated going to practice, but it's been one day "free" of soccer and I feel sick thinking about it. As much as I hated it, maybe I did enjoy it after all.