october 16th, 2023 

sloooowww morninggg i feel so tired but hyper all at the same time today, gnna make coffee and keep my fingers crossed coffee solves everything LOL. i got super bored and set up my old wii u, and then spent like 2 hours playing wii fit lmfaoo, i luv those lil games sooo much. they r lowkey fun and make me feel like im actually doing something pffttt. i’m trying to get myself to take less naps cuz i feel like perhaps i sleep a lil too much but,,,, im just a girl i can’t help it. 2 sleepy for dis world, what can i say?! hehe. one of my friends went ghost yesterday even when we had plans and i was honestly upset at first, i dnt deal with changes in plans n stuff like dat very well, but she reached out dis morning and communicated her situation and so i feel way better. im trying to b more understanding n less selfish with ppl. im trying not to hold ppl to standards i wouldn’t hold myself to, if dat makes sense idk. alot of my family is over today for nooooo reason and its honestly overwhelming, i feel bad for not socializing but we r such a loud family and i get so overwhelmed so quickly.. i love them alot tho!! i hav instagram uninstalled rn cuz ive been feeling a lil lonely and started to overthink the lil things on there… so giving myself space to calm down and then come back to the app to realize i was being dramatic is gnna be my solution LOL. it is almost 9pm and im already soooo sleepy and ready to go to bed, we on that grandma sleep schedule!!!!! lmaooo. ima play fortnite for a lil and go to sleep before my mind starts pondering. “never trust ur thoughts past 9” is sooooo mf real. and also YES i play fortnite idc how cringe it is i think it’s fun <\3 oki, i think that’s all i hav to say for today. i hope anyone who comes across this has a beautiful night/day(✧∀✧)/ goodbye !! i’ll cya tmrw 

    october 20th, 2023 

i rlllyyy have to get into the habit on writing on here, i always forget lol but im gonna work on it. one of my friends sent me this silly music website that made music “paths” (idk how to explain) but their algorithm was actually so good… i let it make some playlists for me and actually found some rlly good songs & artists from it. i have the worst habit of not listening to full albums so im trying to get better at doing that but… who knows LOL. i have a halloween party to go to tmrw so i probably won’t update tmrw but i will get better at it soon trust. i need this as a outlet i just gotta get used to it yk? idk what makeup to do, since i don’t hav a halloween costume i wanted to at least do makeup BUT I CANT THINK OF ANYTHINGGG </3 there’s clown makeup but i don’t have anything i could use as a white base. SO TRAGIC but I’ll figure it out (last minute and then complain). ANYWAYS i dont rlly have much to talk about today sorry ^_^

    october 23rd, 2023 

ok it’s 4am but i gotta get dis off my chest !! i wish more than anything i could put my loneliness into words, but i can’t help but feel like even if i manage to explain it, not many ppl will care much. and that’s ok!! so many ppl tell me they wnna be my friend but are afraid to talk to me but plz do! its so tricky because i have friends, and i know they love me and i love them. but i yearn for a bestfriend so bad, i know im not the first one people wnna talk too or send things too and that kind of hurts but i know no one has bad intentions. i just wish someone enjoyed my company as much as i enjoy theirs! i rlly do try to make new friends but i feel like all my efforts r kind of ignored. or ppl wont talk to me irl and like RAHHH it makes me feel so invisible sometimes but whatevr!! i know i am a good person, and a amazing friend, i will find someone 2 be my platonic soulmate soon siiigh <\3