The Never-Ending Sigh

When breathing was at a premium

You were the bailout that the economy of my

Respiratory system usurped and caused

Stocks to rise like the canopy between my pants

Pockets. My body never felt more saturated

With oxygen than the breaths in-between

Kisses when my abridged lungs forced

My head away from you. But weren’t you

Equal parts pneumonia and antibiotic? Weren’t

You devastation and atonement, sore

Pectoral muscles and the eye of the storm?

I took deep breaths of you and couldn’t

Stop to find where you absconded with my

Capacity because all I knew was that

Shallow breath my throat clung to like fabric

Tattooing itself to wet skin, and that breath was

The only thing I never understood about

You. Was it fleeting like a secret on the Fun Dip-stained

Lips of a child? Did it only exist in a sentence I

Pressed backspace on? Are you the never-ending

Fever dream and am I still lying in wait for the doctor

To tell me that he found spots on my lungs and

Here lies the dissonance of a year of co-morbidities?

I would examine you, a finger on my neck, searching

For a pulse, a sign that you still beat beneath

Bated breaths and false positives. But to

Wait for your proof of God is to hold

An uncontainable breath, or was it just a big,

Never-ending sigh?