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i can’t see her. i’m a bad person. i feel like there’s not much in my head, and i’m unsure of what to say about what happened last night. i wish it didn’t happen. i wish i didn’t know. i wish she was fine. i hate cliches.

that’s so terrible, how horrible, i feel badly, i’m sorry for you!

how detached. yet i have nothing of substance to offer. i let the moments pass, we can hear our heartbeats in our eardrums and suddenly the pressure, the gravity in the room plummets to so far below sea level that our eyes bulge. sometimes i wish no one spoke to me. that i could walk around with no mouth, no ears. i wish i could find reason for my loneliness besides my own personal faults. she deserves a better friend.