Get to Know Me!

The "35 Questions" from Marcel Proust (1871-1921)


1) WHAT IS YOUR IDEA OF PERFECT HAPPINESS?
Days when I can wake up, get plenty of rest, but also get plenty of work done.  And this "work" is only work on projects that I'm passionate about.  At the end of the day I might have a social gathering, or I might spend the night alone or with my family.

2) WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST FEAR?
Being perceived by others as "less than".  I'm pretty good at a lot of the things I do (don't mean to brag it's just the fact of the matter) so when I'm not it really fucks with me.  What fucks with me even more is others not seeing me as "the best" at this, and instead as the worst.

3) WHAT TRAIT DO YOU MOST DEPLORE IN YOURSELF?
My incredible ability to procrastinate in spite of all motivation.

4) WHAT TRAIT DO YOU MOST DEPLORE IN OTHER PEOPLE?
Stupidity & lack of passion.  I tend to notice these two go hand in hand.  People with no passions don't pick up any hobbies and gain no experiences.  Once people have set themselves on this track, they refuse to leave, and that's what hurts me the most.

5) WHAT LIVING PERSON DO YOU MOST ADMIRE?
Trent Reznor.  Absolute musical genius.  Great singer, songwriter, performer, and composer.  He's inspired me to pursue music more in my life.  If I ever got a chance to see him, I would probably die of excitement.

6) WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST EXTRAVAGANCE?
My Vinyl collection (pinned to my blog).  The worst thing is that the records I love the most are always the most expensive.  My vinyls of Siamese Dream and The Fragile were both over $45, but I love both of these records to death.  It's an expensive collection, but one I love nonetheless.

7) WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT STATE OF MIND?
Anxious but hopeful.  For example, tomorrow I've got a pep rally and a swim meet.  I'm scared something will go wrong at the pep rally, I might have no friends to sit near, or I'll go super slow at my meet.  But I also know that lots of my teachers will be out tomorrow, even if the pep rally is terrible I got shorter periods, I'll probably get a chance to sit with some of my other friends at lunch tomorrow, and my swim meet will probably be super fun even if I go slow.

8) WHAT DO YOU CONSIDER THE MOST OVERRATED VIRTUE?
Technically it's a "gift of the Holy Spirit" but Fear of the Lord kinda sucks.  I get respect for the Lord, but fear seems like a step too far.  If you fear God, chances are you're working for the devil.  This is probably blasphemy but idc.

9) ON WHAT OCCASION DO YOU LIE?
When the truth is about to get out and it would be better for the circumstance for me to lie.  By "about to get out" I mean in the next things I say, and by better for the circumstance I mean it might lighten the mood a bit.  I don't lie for personal gain.

10) WHAT DO YOU MOST DISLIKE ABOUT YOUR APPEARANCE?
My hair.  It's so hard to get the hair on my head the right length, I either look like I have a buzz cut or a mullet.  Arm hair is always ugly, and leg hair is only attractive at a very specific length that it only stays at for like, a day.  Also my leg hair is a different color than the rest.

11) WHAT LIVING PERSON DO YOU MOST DESPISE?
Putin.  Pretty obvious why.  

12) WHAT IS THE QUALITY YOU LIKE MOST IN A MAN?
I like for a man to be confident & athletic.  I can be kind of shy sometimes, especially around guys I like, so two people like that can't work.

13) WHAT IS THE QUALITY YOU LIKE MOST IN A WOMAN?
I don't like women like I like men, but I think it's important for women to have a great sense of humor.  I like to joke a lot, so I need them to be able to handle that.

14) WHICH WORDS OR PHRASES DO YOU MOST OVERUSE?
I, like, use like, like, way too much.  It's like, ten likes in like, every sentence.  Like I need to stop.

15) WHAT OR WHO IS THE GREATEST LOVE OF YOUR LIFE?
Eheheh that's a bit personal.

16) WHEN AND WHERE WERE YOU HAPPIEST?
When I was at my old school.  I'm happy I moved but I miss my friends.

17) WHICH TALENT WOULD YOU MOST LIKE TO HAVE?
I'd love to play guitar really well.  I can strum a few chords but I can't even play a full song.  Especially as someone who loves rock music, this would be great.

18) IF YOU COULD CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOURSELF, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
I would make myself more confident.  I can never assert myself, I have to match the person's energy.  I don't want so much confidence that I can't do that, but I don't want to have to rely on somebody else to choose how I act.

19) WHAT DO YOU CONSIDER YOUR GREATEST ACHIEVEMENT?
100 on a level 5 NYSSMA piece.  Gonna be 100 on a level 6 this year though.

20) IF YOU WERE TO DIE AND COME BACK AS A PERSON OR A THING, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
A house cat has the PERFECT life.

21) WHERE WOULD YOU MOST LIKE TO LIVE?
A small, old, coastal city.  Also a place where it snows in the winter.

22) WHAT IS YOUR MOST TREASURED POSSESSION?
My vinyl of The Fragile by NIN.

23) WHAT DO YOU REGARD AS THE LOWEST DEPTH OF MISERY?
Suicidal intent, with the goal of taking others out with you.  Not only do you believe that your life is meaningless, but that ALL life is meaningless.  This is always the result of severe mental health issues compounded with trauma, and we need to have sympathy for those who suffer like this.

24) WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE OCCUPATION?
Reading, Listening to music, and making music.

25) WHAT IS YOUR MOST MARKED CHARACTERISTIC?
Being tall.  I wish it wasn't genetic, but when you're over 6 feet it's what people are going to notice, and I've made peace with that.

26) WHAT DO YOU MOST VALUE IN YOUR FRIENDS?
That they get my humor.  It's dark, but also pretty silly.  I don't expect every joke to land, but if they're constantly offended or confused by my jokes, the friendship doesn't really work great.

27) WHO ARE YOUR FAVORITE WRITERS?
Hard to say.  Might go with Robert Jordan, since I love The Wheel Of Time, though I'm only on the fourth book.

28) WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE HERO OF FICTION?
Bender from The Breakfast Club.  He's broken, and he helps us realize that we all are too.

29) WHICH HISTORICAL FIGURE DO YOU MOST IDENTIFY WITH?
None of them really.  Especially since 95% of them were genocidal maniacs.

30) WHO ARE YOUR HEROES IN REAL LIFE?
My parents and my grandma.

31) WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE NAMES?
Any name that doesn't sound like a stereotype of the English language.  Like I hate the name Dustin cause it just sounds fake.

32) WHAT IS IT THAT YOU MOST DISLIKE?
Being stupid, and not trying to learn.

33) WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST REGRET?
There's too many to count lol.  Anything slightly awkward I've ever done is up on that list.

34) HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO DIE?
Don't really care as long as I don't live long enough to become somebody else's problem.  Like I don't want to be a senile old man who needs to be watched at all times and goes to the hospital every week let me die before that.

35) WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
My own personal motto "Gaslight yourself into believing you can do this, and you'll find you can."