˚୨୧⋆｡˚ October 7th

 *ੈ✩‧₊˚ October 7th, 2023.

My friend, Aimi, her birthday is on Wednesday, so me and my sister went shopping for presents. We both bought her jean skirts, and I bought her a hat, and a belt. And we got sodas, and my dad gave me a ride to a park, where I met with Sally again. We go to this park a lot, and it's hidden in an alleyway, and in the allyway, I saw Mo, and she was with her friend, Dechen. Actually, her name is Tenzin, but everyone's name is Tenin, and her last name is Sangpo, but there's a sweet boy named Sangpo, so everyone calls her Dechen. And it turned out, they were going to the park too, so we went together. And Sally was already there, and I felt very sorry because I was quite late. But we sat there, by the swings, and they made a lot of jokes about sex, and talked about people from their new schools, and how cool they were, and how annoying the grade 10s were. Dechen and Mo were making jokes about Sangpo, and about sex some more, and Sally looked at me and said "I don't like this pornographic material," and I said, "We're minors", and she laughed. Then, Dechen and Mo left, and we left too, and we went to Loga's, and got momos, and she got a diet coke, and I got a butter tea, and threw it out because I didn't want to smell like butter, and it wasn't very good. We went to our old school, our middle school, they just built a new playground, the second we left. It looks like it was built for a four-year-old, and the park for the kindergarteners is all ropes and high up and the middle schoolers eat there. We climbed on top a parking garage, and threw rocks at the cars, and she jked about the fact she is already addicted to her vape, and she's had it for three days, and she loves the flavour. I laughed, because I don't vape, and because it was dark out, and she looked really beautiful on the parking garage with her legs over the edge, and a mint vape, which we both agree is disgusting, and fucked-up. We both agree vaping is disgusting and fucked-up, and she laughs when she does it, because she says "It's still so good." And there was a man walking his dog, and we were scared, and the wind was flipping my skirt up,  and it was freezing. We thought he was going to kill us, or molest us, or something. So we went to her house. I had seen her mom earlier that day, her mom and her mom's boyfriend, when I was shopping. They laughed about that. We went to her room and she showed me her windowsill, where she smokes, and her baby photos, where she is an Anarchist and dresses like Fancy Nancy, and I showed her mine in my Fancy Nancy shirt. She showed me the hole in her wall, which leads to her mom's room, and she blew smoke through it, and called for her mom's boyfriend, Drew. And she sounded like a ghost, "Drew," over and over. And she smoked and blew O's and complained that she couldn't blow O's well, and that her mom definetly heard her bong, and we grabbed sweaters, and Drew bought us gummies, and my shoes were on in her bedroom, which is very weird, because in my house we take off our shoes. In my moms house, we didn't though. I know why, our moms are very similar. And she packed her pipe, and we walked to our old spot. It is a hill, by the traintracks, which is supposed to be fenced off, but there is a hole. It is very beautiful. She pulled her pipe out, and laughed that I couldn't inhale, and she reminded me we had wasabi peas for after, and I said "Ooohhh," and she said, "Your response sounds so different now," and laughed, "You sound like a baby." "I am." And we waited for the next train. We were very scared every time an animal came, but we waved to the trains. "This is such a teenage moment," Sally said, and I just laughed, and couldn't stop smiling, and she couldn't stop smiling. "Has it hit you yet?" And I said "Maybe." It was very hard to get up, even though we'd done it a thousand times before. And then we ran, and I asked, "Why are we running?" And she just laughed. And my mouth felt so dry, and gummies felt like my own skin, and her plastic bag felt like fabric. And we ran. And the second I was alone, I got scared. And the ride home on the streetcar was not fun, I wished I had asked for a ride. I left at eight, and didn't get home until ten, and I was so tired. And this guy I'm talking to texted, and he said "Hi", and I said "How did you know?" And he didn't get it, and he said if he were an animal he would be a lemon shark, and if I were an animal I would be a mountain goat, and I said "Like the band?" And he didn't get it. And he said I might be the silliest girl he knew.

I love Kimya Dawson.