I hate & I think

i hate myself

i want to tear the flesh off my body

to reveal my disgusting insides

i want to take out all the fat

i want to claw out my lungs

i want to tear off my kneecaps

i want to open up my skull

and see the depraved pile of rot that lies inside

and smash everything in until it's just a pile of 

red 

gory 

mess

then act like i'm all okay

and sew my skin back on

i think all my friends hate me

i think they can see through the mask

the fake personality that I dare to flaunt

it's made of translucent lies

never opaque 

always for the public eye

except vantablack was never all that clear

was it?

it's okay if all my friends hate me

because i never counted them as friends anyway