My experience with school

(lots of typos)

Well, if i thought my previous vent was pathetic, then i dont even know what to think about this shit. Firstly, that "gf" i was talking about broke up with me, she was toxic and i was falling for it, im now with another person, hes the kindest person ive met in a very very long time, he knows how to help me and my mental health issues, he rides his bike 15kms every morning and evening to come see me at school since thats the thing that causes me the most stress nowadays.

In my previous blog i was talking about drama that was going on at school, well i left that school and now im in an even bigger school doing shit that makes me want to die. im in a general school, not a professional culinary school anymore, and i do 8am-6pm every day, even wednesdays which are supposed to be half days in my country. Wednesdays are ok tho cause its music class, we do concerts and stuff so i enjoy it.

in my previous blog i also said that i wanted to go to a punk concert with my ex, well i didnt, i went to a big metal festival and small local death metal concerts with my now bf, i got him into metal even tho originally he likes anime ops and phonk XD

Also, in my previous blog entry, i stated "I hate school, i hate being different, i hate having to follow a schedule that doesn't change ever or having to stay in one area. I want to live, be free" ectec. Well FUCK YOU ITS WORSE. i at least had it ok, 9am-3pm most days and a hamf day on wednesday, life was good, i got raped meaning i had to change but yk, i was somewhat free most of the time. SHIT IS SO MUCH WORSE. 

Not to mention, according to my parents my stress is irrelivent because theirs is due to work and mine is merely due to school. dude, i get targetted and basically bullied by a specific school supervisor. Im in a bording school, i sleep there 5 nights a week, sunday night to thurday night and go home for friday and saturday night. 

When i say i get targetted, i mean that whenever me and my best friend made a small mistake like got out of the dorms 2 minutes late (we werent the last ones) or were late back to school because the bus arrived a bit late (we have to be back at school for the dorms at 6:30), we always get yelled at harder than others and its really making us feel unsafe and uncared for in the place where we sleep almost every night. This lady, Julie, is basically 9 months pregnant, ready to burst, and she always yells at me then says its because she cares, but god im scared for her future child, hes gonna have severe childhood trauma, because saying that im stupid, rude and should do better even though imtrying my hardest is not exactly caring.

i skip class a lot, recently, ive been skiping less and less and getting into less trouble. I messed up and missed a class because there were changes that i wasnt aware of because i have no friends whatsoever in my class (and only 2 in the entire school of 1600 students) so noone told me. I went to the office to ask what classroom i was in since i saw my class were all going into a building and i wouldnt have time to catch up and she yelled at me telling me that we're a month into school and i still dont know my time table, that i make no efforts and that im the most useless student they know, even though i know damn well that im not, i go to more and more lessons, i only skip the ones i got doctors permissions to do so, like the last 2 hours in the day.

i dont know how to stop being targetted, i do so little wrong stuff and make so little mistakes now, i dont know what to do anymore