thinking about emptiness

my day goes so good, so well, until i have that one interaction with my online friends where i suddenly remember that i'll never be as close as they are to eachother. is there something wrong with me that i end up the third wheel in everything i do online or in person? was i always destined to fade into the background? i dont know, i sound like some 14 and im deep asshole right now but god i feel so empty right now