Hi, it's me.
I woke up some days ago with an incredible need to tell people that it's okay to not have a dream.
I don't. Well I don't think I do, that's the thing. But I know one thing for sure and that is that my dream has to be out there somewhere, I just need to find it. Some people are born with dreams, some people aren't and that's okay.
Then if we wanna go into details, I've always wanted to be an actress, but I never did anything about it, and that's my fault. But maybe deep down I knew that that dream was an "impossible dream" which even if it's sad to say it's the truth (in my opinion). There are possible dreams and impossible dreams. Impossible dreams are those dreams that would make you so proud and happy if they were reality but at the same time are dreams that you actually never started pursuing (for different external factors, that of course we all call excuses).
Don't think for a moment that I don't consider myself a quitter from the start, cause I do.
Another thing I'd like to talk about is "changing". Fascinating word. Thinking about it, I've always based my life on changing. If you think about it, growing=changing. Well I took that a little too far.
As I said before I never had a dream, well actually I had A LOT of dreams that usually lasted a week or two.
Now imagine: my parents being absolutely terrified about my future and my career. Telling me that it was time to choose a University major and stuff like that. Me in the mean time, I was struggling between choosing Criminology or Communications or Psychology or Tourism. Mind you I never actually being into any of that when I was little.
When I was little I loved cinema, ( I still do now) and I was really good in English so at the end I decided to try the Tourism sector.
The first month of Uni I felt really out of place. Then I started to warm up, but then everything I built fell down when I started working for the first time as a Receptionist. It was horrible at first. I really felt hopeless, like I made all the wrong choices in my life. The first month at work the only thing that was in my mind was "what am I doing wrong? Why can't I keep up with my colleagues?" but then I realized something. "Maybe I just needed more time to get used to it. I knew I was putting the effort but some people need more time and practice for some things, so that's why I started to count on time. And time started to pass indeed, and one step at the time, I saw myself getting a little better and better". These are Iñaki Godoy's words on his experience of sailing by himself for the first time ever. That's what it felt like for me. Of course sailing and working for the first time are 2 extremely different things.
But that experience made me grow as a person and it made me realized that to know if I like something I need to try it first, I need to experience it. I've also realized that I love to experience things (even tho I'm really afraid of it) and overcome my fears.
In conclusion I believe that my dream is "finding a dream for myself" and to do that I need to try new experiences.
555- something new is coming