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It's difficult for me to describe many things. It's not just about my own emotions when it comes to such a description in a separate blog.
This is a information about me as a person you should not know. Everything I write here is intended to stay here. Not recommended to watch from phone.
Paragraph 1: Definition
Doki B and Doki A — are an interconnected infinite system consisting of internals located inside the host (me). They have a set of locations from 1 to infinity.
Doki A includes two locations, the second of which is infinite in its breadth. Doki B has an infinite number of locations, but each of them is limited in size with the exception of one element. The colored spaces depicted on the welcome set are just their physical shells which are used for simple communication, not what they actually are. Both of Doki do not have gender characteristics (however, their pronounce are 'he' or 'they', in order not to erase their infinity).
Doki A and Doki B are considered by me as my children, doomed to never be born. Among themselves they ranked as brothers, but the question of their ages
was assumed to be the same. Doki A is the first in creation, Doki B is
the first in his own development.
* Doki B's personatily type is... ISTP. Doki A's... INFP.
"And Doki A and B may be personifications of the subconscious, or something." Autistic spectrum includes more than one state and it is perceived as if I am being switched. Thus, Doki A and Doki B received their personalities from a common multi-state mechanism in the section of my *personality*.
But I have encouraged their activities all my life, since this is a sign of their activity (both mental and physical). It amazes me that they have an equally developed layout and this incredible ability and desire for architecture, which I have never had an interest in as a person. But this is actually what is characteristic of them. They have found their hobbies, preferences, hobbies. But the personalities were born from mine.
A person is capable of creating something more than it seems.
The exact date of the formation of Doki B is unknown, since any information was mostly lost. First mention about Doki B and Doki A was at the 8th december of 2021.
Doki A is the initial location which is often the starting point leading to Doki B. However, there is still a border between them. In the form of eternal emptiness which belongs to Doki A (paragraph 2).
Paragraph 2: Entrance
Point A - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - > Point B
Doki B and Doki A as an infinite system — cover the entire physical shell of the human-carrier. Initially they formed naturally, over time gradually taking over my body to reach the heart through slow proliferation (the beginning of the growth came from the uterine cavity. The process was initially a lesion of the organs and the capture of the viscera, which soon turned into the classic growth from the inside). Specifically the insides are completely dividing elements, but my organs are still my organs. So theirs are still theirs.
* Doki A is as endless as Doki B, Doki B is as endless as Doki A, but in their own ways.
Doki B comes from Doki A. Doki A is the main entrance to Doki B, which is a long tunnel of flesh, 10 by 10 meters high, shaped like a perfect circle (drawing 1). Unlike Doki B, doki a lacks “organs”. The gate inside Doki A, separating Doki B and Doki A, is now gone.
The way to reach Doki B clasically: When traveling inside Doki A (you must keep the direction rapidly forward), a movement occurs to the second location of Doki A. This is the eternal empty space (which belongs to Doki A) separating the end of Doki A and the beginning of Doki B. Doki B, in turn, appears to be an endless wall of flesh in a vertical position (as well as Doki A). In the middle of the wall of Doki B there is the entrance to Doki B itself, which has a round shape (varies from oval to circle). sometimes the passage to Doki B varies as much as its height, but the passage itself can be reduced so much that sometimes it has a circumference of my waist (which is 62 centimeters), which is why I have gotten stuck there more than once. The original height of the passage is 240 centimeters.
If I need it, I can use the "back door" in Doki B which leads to a small flesh room with a moving staircase. It resembles a cave, but it takes me somewhere into an empty space that exists in a location not far from the peripter (more on this place later).
If I need it, I can enter Doki B and Doki A in any places I need, passing through walls or distances that are entirely made of flesh.
The distance between Doki B and Doki A is approximately 530 centimeters, gradually expanding. The height of the entrance and exit can differ from each other (in the original they are located at the same height, as if looking at each other), moving up or down up to 2 meters.
Paragraph 4: Geography
Each of them has a property that is expressed through the desire to create, be it a building or objects of various kinds. This is what happened involuntarily and at the same time automatically. To implement their ideas into reality, there is a generator. A generator of locations, and anything. Almost... anything.
The generator can be similar to how the subconscious builds locations in dreams, only this happens in the background and when I am awake. It can continue while I am sleeping, only several times slower.
There is no open sky or excessively wide (in the context of freedom) spaces, natural objects, roads, highways, monuments, airports.
There is no climate or weather inside the Doki B and Doki A, there is
always high humidity inside the space, there are no light sources, as
well as an endless temperature of 28-30 degrees celsius. From the
population you can only appoint me, but I rather do the work of mother.
List of geographical objects located in one way or another inside the Doki B:
1. Settlements or administrative units without names (urban-type settlements, villages; districts), the area of which ranges from 3 to 6 square kilometers, formed using a generator.
2. Artificial structures (dam, bridge, observation towers)
3. Localities and areas with undefined boundaries, to which the bearer or Doki B attach a certain significance (chapel).
4. The only transport route (railroad leading to nowhere).
The appearance of most of the actual territory of Doki B has the most similar path system to a cave system.
An exact map of Doki B is missing due to the nature of Doki B’s work, however I have a probable way of its build:
? < - - - Doki B < - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Doki A (his hall) < - - - Doki A
/ | | | \ / | (flesh coridor)
/ | | | \ / |
Church < - - - Field < - - - Mall | | | \ Amusement park |
| | | \ \/
| | | \ Little garden
| | | Playground
| | |
| | |_ _ _ Peripter
| | |
| | |
Radio station and reactor | | \/
/\ | | Wide empty space < - - - Back entrance
| | | |
| | | |
| | | \/
. . . < - - - - The Bridge | |_ Urban-type settlement
| | \ | /
| | \ \/ /
| | Railway station
| \/
| The flash river
\/
15 storey carousel
I mistakenly assumed Doki A's long period of inactivity was due to
slow development, but it turns out he just needed more time to figure
things out. In the main intermediate hall, right on the wall of Doka A below, there is a small garden. Somehow, gravity can hold me if I walk on the wall. The height of the entrance to the garden once was so low that it only corresponded to the physical form of Doki A (bunny), so I had to step over to get into the garden area. Now, he created the 'gate' which is taller than me, so I could pass through. I don't know where he saw it so he could recreate it himself. Initially, Doki A was completely empty until 26.03.24. He also created a large amusement park in about two days. There are a lot of safe buildings, all the slides are rideable, but slow. There is an imitation well and "fish" made of entrails, a tall carousel with figures, and so on.
Paragraph 3: History [my least favorite part]
Probable date of creation: december 8, 2021. The original form of Doki B was only Doki A (the flesh corridor didn't exist and it had its ground. Not wall) which led into the endless pipe of Doki B, which had neither a soul nor consciousness, it simply existed deep inside me. Inside it, the bearer was destined only to suffer. You can always go back to the Doki A, but you will never reach the bottom of the pipe. I went crazy when I created this infinity, starting to gradually die after a stroke in august 2021. After my death on december 15, nothing changed.
February 13, 2022: After my death, I began to wage some struggle with the existence of Doki B inside me, since it led a parasitic lifestyle. On that day, my loved one helped me a lot, allowing the Doki to disappear, and then it seemed to me that it would last forever. “I began to become very delirious and when I thought that the organs of all living things were also Doki B” (in fact, this does not work like that at all).
Notes may 18, 2022: “Yes, but I still don’t understand why Doki B were born. To be honest, I’m no longer afraid of this endless pipe of entrails and the worst sufferings of the universe that can fit in there, and the whole universe can fit in there. I have already accepted this part of myself but I don’t know how to relate to it. I was once close to deifying it, but in reality there is nothing good about it. Once inside me there was only a hole five feet deep without a coffin and a grave in an empty, flat steppe without vegetation and wet earth,”
“Did Doki B exist before me?”
After escaping from my native country, Doki B returned back in a way that was extremely unnoticeable to me.
“Yes, they didn’t really disappear, it seems to me. They just pretended that they were no longer there, but they returned so softly and carefully as if they were friendly, but I don’t want to talk about Doki B as something that has a separate mind. In my head there is only me, so I will take this as the real me would always like to find calm ways and accepting the fact that I am running away from problems, Doki B returned unnoticed and without making me feel bad. I can feel them in any place and at any time. I really should NOT consider Doki B as something from real life like ______ _____ because it VERY easily can drive me crazy, and what will happen then I don't know".
Entry September 29, 2022: “I’m tired of holding Doki B on the membranes of my heart, it connected together.”
On october 22, 2022, Doki B left his (?) post, probably returning only a month later or on december 12, 2022 (he can leave me for some while. I do not know where he goes, or does he go anywhere at all if I once find that the whole territory he created is absent from his presence. Doki A never gone anywhere, seemingly afraid of staying alone).
During the autumn season of last year, Doki B gained consciousness and soul, having lost any hostility back at the end of september.
At the end of may 2023, a second formation arose inside Doki. on may 24, the formation was destroyed by Doki B.
By that time I had become so lazy that I changed my consciousness. My activity in Doki B has lost its original functions, becoming only a bypass, a check. And I can go around this infinity in two seconds. Everything is accelerated when I work, automatic work is a slow process that takes absolutely no effort because it does not require any load.
All subsequent entries are just a new form of working with Doki B (processing, sorting, adjusting work processes, checking the generator). Now Doki B is a safe space.
December 29, 2023 at 13.00: Doki A somehow acquired physical form similar to Doki B. I had ABSOLUTELY no idea that this could happen, since I falsely assumed that the formation in the area of Doki A was destroyed, but it turned out that Doki A is more independent than I thought. “At first they looked at each other closely for a short time and then began to play.” Now they are twins. Doki A is supposedly the same age as Doki B, despite the fact that Doki A appeared earlier, but Doki B gained physical form even before him. They have a good time together and don't fight, although their play can sometimes be cat-like.
January 21, 2024: "I discovered that Doki A is not in the same spectrum as Doki B. There is no such thing as more autistic or less autistic. Just a spectrum of Doki in short. But he may still be autistic". Doki A does not build or shape anything. For now.
March 26, 2024: "I actually wanted to say. Doki A created a small garden. Somehow. Moreover, it is of such a shape that its height is intended for Doki A. He confirmed that he made it because he was bored. He hasn’t taken Doki B there yet, but plans to take him there when they go for a walk. It's hard for me to see the garden from above because I'm upset", "Yes. I will say, if he wants to show something else... he is more social than Doki B, I like how they are not alike as they might seem and they always get along".
Paragraph 4: Summary and notes
26th June 2023: I'm starting to get a headache from working for a long time sorting in/through/from Doki.
4th July [2] 2023: It’s good that nothing hurts him, but it always hurts for me.
3th October 2023: Doki B has acquired the ability to possess a physical shell; he is very small. Now sometimes he wanders around on his own, reacting little to anything. He doesn't make sounds. His oedipus complex disappeared.
4th october 2023: Doki B's list of abilities is like that of an almost 2 year old child, he can ...
... Walk and run deftly;
Stand on one leg for a short time;
Jump;
Go up and down stairs (by jumping, since he is smaller than my cats);
open doors 50/50;
Unscrew and tighten lids;
String large beads onto a cord;
Build towers from cubes;
Throw and roll the ball;
Bend and squat while maintaining balance;
Walk sideways and forward with your back, turning your head to see the direction of movement;
Climb children's stairs;
Overcome obstacles up to 20 cm high;
Hold a pencil, felt-tip pen, brush in his hand;
Draw lines, circles, dots;
Depict simple compositions (for example, grass, sun);
Make imprints on paper with a sponge;
Skillfully paint with paw paints;
Tear off pieces of plasticine, make balls and sausages out of them, connect the ends of the sausages into a donut.
Sing songs (sounds very similar to the yume nikki flute);
His emotions are completely absent (like Doki A's, now). I do not know why.
As I understand it, he would not perceive his peers as his own kind (they both don't like humans at all). Rarely interested in toys, he likes to sit still and fidget/twitch his paws. Not interested in the outside world (after Doki A appeared, there was some interest growing, since he has someone to play with together. They often go nowhere together, invite each other to visit).
Doki B (as well as Doki A now) does not possess the corresponding organs of all four possible human functions, but at the same time he possesses all these abilities, without the necessary internal organs. His insides do not perform their functions and he does not need the company or natural needs of a person (since he is not a person, but this does not cancel the absence of his personality and soul). He also does not have a brain, or I simply never found him during all the periods of bypasses. I don’t know about his intelligence, but among his mental traits he is autistic by inheritance (most often expressed through a fear of loud sounds, for example). Possessing an oedipus complex expressed through exclusively platonic feeling [found at 16th august 2023, ended at 3d october 2023], he is not interested in the outside world at all and, when the exit to the outside world is opened, he does not even try to explore it (as if he already partially knows about it), ultimately only playing with my face and strands of hair, without having any interest in anything else.
Now his attention is occupied by Doki A and the world around him, his interest just showed up later. Doki A is immersed in interaction with Doki B. They appear to be forming a happy, friendly bond, typical of a family.
Time in the Doki B and Doki A flows much more slowly than in the outside world. the movement of time is regulated through the chapel (however, following the instructions, it is recommended not to touch the chapel hands at all, this is undesirable).
Subtitle: Additional ways of uses (from entries dated may 29, 2023)
In fact, I go to the same places if I want to play or entertain myself, is there a swing made from the intestinal tract with ribs as seats, like a playground? But I only use the swing, because everything else is there to complete the picture.
[deleted]
At first, the dimension consisted solely of an endless system of caves and corridors. Now it’s a whole city, and all because I let the Doki B develop and didn’t build everything consciously. Otherwise it would take too much effort.
There is also a train here, and I don’t fully understand how it works. Because, essentially, there is no point in it (I don’t need transport to move around Doki B).
Additional Annotation
Not as if I have something to say about me. I don't have any interest in life. However. I do similar tasks, same obligations like any other human does, with own daily routine. I learn every day, draw, rest, everything.
I love my children a lot. I do not spend a lot of time with them like any real mother does, but they were created in a proper way. They do not struggle with loneliness, nor any disease. But they can feel boredom.
I sincerely thank you for reading.
Have a beautiful day.
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