how mcr saved my life

hello everyone! this is definitely a sadder blog than what id normally want to post.  this is something i just really need to get out. and unfortunately, spacehey is my only safe place. its one of my happy places too ^^

i feel like my chem could keep me alive and happy if i had nothing else to make me happy. and its weird cause its 'just a band'. i try to rant about the band and express my love for it but my friends think its weird. and they get annoyed quite a bit. im glad i can talk about mcr on here. 

i know im not like other teens. im autistic first off, but i have friends who easily turn to their parents, and my friends who cant just to do standard coping mechanisms and are chill about it. but every day something bad happens to me. and its all my fault. or thats what its like. my mother is emotionally abusive. and i know i shouldn't complain much because she isnt drinking or physically abusive anymore, and others go through worse, but it still is quite upsetting and so draining. On top of that I have dysphoria, trauma and bullying to sort out, as well as school so it gets tiring. 

so, when things get overwhelming, i listen to my chemical romance. every time and all the time. i draw the members and the albums as well as lyrics. i watch interviews and edits. spend hours looking at pictures and memes, then all of a sudden, i feel a sense of comfort and warmth. and i feel as if everything is going to be okay, i just have to keep what makes me happy and push through. 

ive never met the band or see them live. but i hope when mcr 5 comes out, they'll tour in my country. and maybe, just maybe, i could thank the four of them. thank them for keeping me alive, and creating stories and songs i can relate, and of course for being the sweetest people ever.

Gerard Way, Mikey Way, Ray Toro, and Frank Iero, thank you for being a reason to live.

so long and goodnight, everyone <3