ngl,ngl wanna kill myself :3 (rant/vent)

honestly what the fuck. my brother fr said "Simon i'm sure that what i did for you could've been done for you from anyone else"

What? No, seriously. What the fuck?!

after what i've done for you, after what i have vented to you, you have the audacity to say that all of the things that you've helped me through that no one else could do for me was pointless? I was alone my entire life and i planned to fucking kill myself at 12 am, you came to me at 9 pm. 2 hours early and i realized for the first time i wasn't alone, and i didn't kill myself because of how much you cared for me and i truly felt wanted for the first time in my entire life, i felt like i was needed, i felt like there was a point of living.

Honestly, what he said broke me apart so bad i was almost balling my eyes out. To make it worse, he was talking to me about manipulative tactics and how he loves it and i said "so do i", i seriously thought he was manipulating me and that broke me even harder, i'm grateful he wasn't trying to manipulate me but sometimes he needs to rethink about what he says. 

i have nothing else to say so i'm going to sneak out at night for fresh air and chill in the woods, because if i don't calm down i'll fucking kill myself or start self harm.