Journal Entry #75: 09/30/23 - Making Bad Choices

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So, I've found myself in a slump. I did some bad things and made decisions that weren't in my best interest. I'm a little scared, I haven't finished all of my difficult work yet. I'm not sure if I'm capable of being a college student anymore, considering what I've done and how I've been acting. I do want to be better; this me isn't one that anyone else has seen. I spent nearly 500 dollars this month. I am ashamed.

On a lighter note, here's how my week was:

Monday was normal (again). I just wish I did more work. I went to a session to help with calculus and then didn't ask for help. I'm afraid I've dug myself a hole. I'm going to tutoring tomorrow. On Tuesday I went to a corporate networking dinner. The food was super good, the mac and cheese and peach cobbler were absolutely amazing. I wish I could've taken some home. Wednesday, I had a lab. It turns out not this coming week, but next week, we don't have a lab. 

Also, next Wednesday is midterm. My grades thankfully aren't that bad, but I still have work due Sunday night that will be accounted for. I just don't know if I will make it. I'll be calling my family tomorrow. I want to tell them how I feel but at the same time, I don't want them to worry.

Anyway, on Thursday I went to a golf social. I had a really good time. I swung and missed a lot, but sometimes I did a good job. It was such a nice atmosphere; we were all chatting and having a good time while we golfed. It was also nice to be away from my schoolwork for a minute and just...hang out. Everyone was so friendly. Yesterday I did some work and then went to paint in the student center. I made some nice stuff. I told myself after painting that I was going to do work, but I decided to rest and relax instead. I'll see how that impacts things tomorrow. The moon illuminated my bedsheets last night; it was beautiful.

Today I'll be going to the game, but I'll only stay until halftime. My roommate isn't here and I'd like some more time to myself to figure things out. I need to change.

Tchau,

AstraGenesis ┈━═☆

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