So, as you could tell from the title, I came out to my grandma as a transmasculine nonbinary. I made a whole fucking presentation about it, explaining what gender identity, gender presentation, dysphoria, sexual orientation, and romantic orientation is so she could understand what I was talking about when I came out to her.
Now, I will say, my grandma is considered conservative. My mother and father sometimes make fun of her because she lives out in the middle of nowhere and didn't believe in Covid (until she got it) and stuff. I was prepared for her to be like, "...That's not real, you're confused. It's okay, I still love you though," or at the very worst, "I think you just want attention, you'll always be *deadname* to me!" (My dad said that initially, but he's gotten so much better.)
I went through the presentation with my voice shaking, and I said "um" about every five seconds. There were a total of eleven fucking slides. It was bruuuutaaallllll.... (I practiced on one of my teachers, and called him Grandma the whole time and he was laughing, but also trying to wrap the entire gender aspect of the LGBTQ+ community around his head..) When the explanation of everything was out of the way, I went to the last slide... and this was the most scary moment of my entire life. My grandma had been silent the whole time, so I didn't know how she was taking all of this. But anyway, I went to the last slide, and read the bullet points explaining my entire identity.
I use the name *name I use irl (I mean I use Bobby too, but since nobody calls me it irl, I just use it as my online name)*
I use singular they/them pronouns (EX: They went to pick up their umbrella from the car because they’re stupid and left it and now they have to get it by themself)
I also use he/him pronouns
It was a lot. And then the presentation was over... I stopped talking and avoided eye contact with her, but I didn't want to look scared, so I kept a neutral expression. Then, she said something:
I'm proud of you."
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST I WAS TRYING SO HARD NOT TO CRY AAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! She told me that she loved me and supported me no matter what, and that being trans wasn't a new thing. So many fucking older people think this is a new thing, but she apparently knew someone who, based on how she was describing her, was a trans woman. When she was younger, she and all of the girls in her neighborhood would hang out and gossip, and all of the boys would go off and do their own things. But there was this one kid who would hang out with the girls even though she was assigned male at birth. She wore feminine clothing, and was really friendly, so my grandma and her friends were pretty okay with her hanging out with them.
My grandma and her friends called her a "homo" when she wasn't there, but apparently it wasn't supposed to be insulting, it was just an observation.
I just thought my grandma was talking about a feminine guy who she thought was gay because of her femininity, but then she told me that she then moved to the city, got a sex change, and went by the name Michelle. So, it wasn't her just making assumptions, she actually seemed to have known a queer person in her childhood.
When she was done telling me about Michelle, she gave me another hug and told me she would try to get my name and pronouns right, but that it would be hard because I was still "always going to be her little *deadname*..."
Good intentions, problematic expression of her intentions. But she wasn't trying to be hurtful. She was supporting my identity, which was good.
My dad kind of outed me (not entirely on purpose) to his parents (my other grandparents), and while they tolerated it, they were always uncomfortable when they were corrected and when I made jokes about me being trans. My grandma (who knew I went by Sparrow, but not why) always caught and corrected herself when she deadnamed me. This means so much to me, and I am so happy that I have someone like this in my life, when so many of fellow queers can't even talk openly about these subjects at home.
All in all, I'm just so glad I was finally able to tell her and that she received it so well after four years of me not seeing her in person, and me trying to stay closeted for that long.
I'm so fucking grateful for someone who is willing to try to respect me, and is not only tolerant of my identity, but accepting and welcoming.
I'm sorry for this being so long, but I'm just so damn excitedddddddddddddddd!!!!!!!!!!!