insert title here

howdy hi hello to those who come across this. tis be i, another fish in the pond, the queen of dirt, whatever the fuck i call myself these days. my last blog entry was about 3 months ago, feels much longer than that but whatever. recently i've been feeling real lonely, like that feeling you get when you're sitting in the car driving home after you dropped everyone off. when i sleep i get visions of a future where i have a bf of some sort or i move away from home to a one room apartment, i should take melatonin.

anyways, my CSH addiction has been lowered. i've been listening to more stuff but CSH still lives on, i got a shirt too! it's the one with all the lyrics from Crows cause i really like that song. I never buy merchandise but i felt like it was something i had to do. I also got a little twin fantasy plush, they sit on my bookshelf with all my other plushes. 

i also started "collage" but really it's just two classes so i can do a test to get a certificate. supposedly this will result in me getting a better job or something. idk tbh it's just kind of annoying to me now, on top of all the technical problems i've had so far, i have to drive ~45 minutes in rush hour traffic to get to a school where i sit and watch a guy present a powerpoint about stuff i already know where i then do work on a computer for about 2 hours and then drive back to eat microwaved leftovers. the entire thing is just so... blegh. i'd be better off without it, i really would rather just work the grocery store job i have now for full time. then years later i either end up going to get that certificate cause im bored at the grocery store or i get a higher position in the grocery store.

either way, i feel like the timing wasn't right. i really feel like kids getting out of high school weren't made to go right into college, maybe some of the kids (the smart ones), but the rest of us? Hell no. that is a later thing we do when we're bored with our low wage jobs or finally know what we want to do with life. Not everyone needs to go to college right after high school cause a lot of kids still don't really know what they want to do for a career. it's better to wait a bit, let them get used to the idea of working in general and get some connections, learn what else there is to do in life.

that's all i got for y'all today, have a good one.