how to turn into an angel

why

i cant live in my own moments, it feels like everything is just passing by.
i cant enjoy the moments. 
i cant even comprehend them.
why ?

its my life so why ? 

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i want the universe to turn me into an angel myself.
please let me guide myself thru life. i dont need any hands to hold on, i want my own wings to fly. to reach out the beautiful sky. to feel myself gliding and experience life. 

let me live. as a soul i want to live. 
turn this world into my world. turn this world into me.