why

why is it so hard to live, its my life so why am i feeling so out of place without u. i should feel complete when i have myself but i cant.
please tell me how can i heal, how can i feel, how can i be. 
i want to know me better, understand me more and feel something for myself.
i am missing out, i am missing my life.
i also realized its better for me to focus more on myself, to spend more time alone and to distance myself from u. but why why why why why why does it have to hurt so much. why cant i stop questioning myself and my life. 

just let me breathe. just let me live. 
i beg u, please give me back.

im hurt. 
im sad.
im crying.
im breaking.

i want this to stop.

let me meet myself. please let me love myself more than anyone else.
i should spend more time on myself. going for a walk, letting the wind blow thru my mind, letting me forget about my worries. i want to laugh even if its not u who i am thinking about. 

please let me rest.