so theres this girl p3 - creep- radiohead

oh god i really thought it was possible for me, but i am so cooked. today i saw her, i was working and she wasn't. she was so beautiful she looked so great, she was in workout clothes and shit. we shared hi's and i went back to work, but self loathing hit like a truck.

 "what am i doing. i feel like an idiot for thinking this was possible. i mean, i knew i was swinging for the fences but i guess i didn't realize how far the fences actually were". saying shit like that to myself

 i tried my best to keep it together but i did let out some tears in the aisle i was working in. i left work early.

 today was gonna be the day i sent her a text pretty much just sayin "i want to tell you something but i want to do it in person and when we're both off work." then from there i was gonna tell her how i feel. I'm still gonna do it but its definitely delayed

now i kinda feel like an idiot for letting my emotions get the better of me like that. but maybe im right at the same time, im conflicted but idk...