my band

25/9/2023

So basically my band @doublesidednail (check out the ig), have been invited to play at a gig in december. We havent actually gotten our first official song together but we've made a fair few throwaways. I'm just gonna speak some thoughts here as if this place was a diary.

So I made this band as my first real out of school project-baby. I've always wanted to have a metal band so this was awesome. I'm pretty sure I've talked about how the band came to be so I'll let the reader go procure the lore. My identity currently lies within christ and I want to make my band a public announcement of that -in a way-. The only thing really stopping that is my band members not agreeing with it i guess but I dont wanna be dogmatic in any kind of way :/

I've already had very minor issues *THAT HAVE BEEN SORTED* with the guitarist but that was just due to my poor leadership. I don't want to make my homies commit to something they don't like so I'm juggling with allat atm. I've had so much help from god with getting the idea of how to lead without being a dictator. The church has also been so fucking supportive of me wanting to start a christian band. especially from the concept of how much of hold the devil has on that scene.

During the past few weeks the church has had this girlie called, Faylene (shoutout this baddie) come in and she's been teaching us how to "hear prophetic words from the spirit". As a teenage male I'm already in a disposition to think that shits wack and genuinely schizo but anyways. She gets the people in the crowd to group up in 5's, she puts out like a million different tangible photos on the stage, we grab 2 and see what the holy ghost has to say about the person sitting in the middle of the other 4. We've done that a fair few times and no matter how open I am to it, I always get conformation that my bands going to be a christian anchor in the metal scene. For example; This dude that had no clue of my intentions with the band, grabbed a photo of a small plane thats on a small beach, and said I'm like that small plane. in the way that biiig commercial planes need a massive run way and cant land in obscure places. but the small plane can. 

What he meant was that my band will reach places other christian bands cant. shedding light unto places of disparity. 

SO, with all that context being said u probs think im like a christian psycho that has lost the plot.

nah.

im lowkey living a dual life, one as a stoner metal head and one as a christian stoner metal head. I really want to share god a lot more but I fr do not read enough of the word to do that so I feel wrong to even make a "christian metal band". I might want to move in the idea that our bands christian but we're still humans in an intense place in life that have (unhealthy and healthy) coping mechanisms. Our last gig was fucking awesome but I was pinging as fuck on stage. I watched the footage back with our videographer and literally when the curtains were pulled back for the first song. my eyes were like "0_0" and i looked really pissed off. Probs not gonna snort anything before going on stage again but my headbanging was pretty cool sick. I swore so much in a hype way but if i continue to do so carelessly i guess our bands will be seen as "poser christians". I dont actually care about that but its just something on my mind.

yeah thanks for reading, i posted a lil cheeky guitar part on my personal insta so check that out if u wanna hear thrash metal done by the one and only.

p.s. im only really writing this so when im older i can look back on it and see what i was thinking aboot as a 17 yr old finding his footing. tyty