mental illness

what a weird thing to say, as if it has to be hushed on or whispered about. like the words cant be heard or else you might catch it. people are scared of what they cant control, so only your doctor is comfortable around you, but once your parents are the ones being talked to everyone has to quiet down about your mental illness. its weird how things can happen so quickly enough to change how people see you, like as if you are seen as a freak, as they call you outside the walls, then you humanization of being a person is taken away like a punishment. your wings are snipped, but as soon as you get them back and fly off you realise there is no where to land except to fall into the void you named morbid because of its malicious intent to swallow you and your hope, and even the memory of hope so you feel like you always felt like this. hopeless. am i crazy? probably. but so are so many others so why do we treat it like some disease only few have, and those few became monsters in the night who lurch on children and feed off the blood in their veins, leaving their rotting corpses to dry in the rain. drying in the rain? that doesn't make sense. neither does hushing down about the threat of being "mentally ill" or, as i think to say, "mentally advanced"

im done being quiet about shit thats normal, im done hearing the hushed jokes of schizophrenia and using bipolar as a way to make it sound nicer. my friend shouldnt apologize for being mentally advanced and seeing hallucinations.

hallucinations.

are they hallucinations or are they things everyone else cant see? are most humans blind to the monsters in the shadows? do kids have reason for thinking their toes will be nipped off in the night by the creature under the bed? or they will be ripped from their heart by the ghoul in the closet? maybe we should stop fucking around.

maybe were all fucked.

or maybe we arent and everyone else is.

so many thoughts. too many thoughts.